From Shadow to Light - Book Ten

Ch. 6- Move On

"How many scars did you justify because you love the person holding the knife?"

***

For the first time in months, the others were not sleeping in the same room as me. They all chose their own bedrooms in our new home and as much as I missed their presence, I know it was for the best. Though my brain disagreed because I kept on tossing and turning in my bed. By the time I was half asleep, I awoke suddenly by the door opening quietly and I almost wanted to smile as I caught sight of him. Luc kept his promise and snuck into my room so I could sleep peacefully. But this time it was only us in my room and maybe that struck a nervous tick within me. I ignored him and I met his dark blue eyes in the faint light of the sunrise.

Luc wore nothing but boxer shorts and I had to concentrate on his face so my body didn't react to his hard muscles and edges. I watched as he got in bed next to me and covered himself, while I turned so I was facing him. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

His eyebrows creased into a frown. "What could you ever be sorry for, Princess?"

"For using my sunlight on those creatures. I knew the risks but all of you were outnumbered and I was afraid they might have killed you if I didn't react soon." I sighed, then clasped my hand into Luc as a sort of comfort. He stilled at my touch but then caressed my skin with his thumb gently. "I am not afraid of a lot of things, Luc. But the very thought of losing any one of you, especially you, it paralyzes me. I would rather let Erebus bend me to his will for all eternity than go through the pain of losing you."

Luc softened then guided our hand on top of his heart where it was beating rapidly. Huh? How could that be possible? "I lost all of my family in such a short time, even the man I loved. For a moment I thought it would be beneficial if I gave up now. If I just succumbed to the pain then eventually I would become one of those heartless Vampires everyones hates. My brother was going to rot in a prison forever and leave me all alone for the first time in my life, I did not know what to do but give up." He curled his lips into a sad smile. "But then he asked—no he demanded me to take care of you. To make sure you eat and not drown in your own pain like I was planning to do. Watching out for you wasn't even a question because he loves you like you love the sun. Because you were the only one besides me that loves Amias. And I thought it would fix my shame for failing to protect him as he did for me my whole life." He sighed now. "I should be the one apologizing for not being strong enough to keep you safe."

Luc let go of my hand and turned so he was staring at the high ceiling above us. He blamed himself for failing me? That did not make sense. Luc was the only one that kept me sane all these months, the only one that comforted me when I had nightmares. He made me breakfast and coffee every morning because he knew I needed my energy. With him, I forgot about drinking too much and getting high to forget the pain. Luc helped in a lot of ways and I was starting to understand just how much I needed him. How we both leaned on each other without realizing it. "Luc Guinevere, without you I would have drowned in my own pain until I was nothing but skin and bones. You have nothing to apologize for because you are the one that made me want to keep surviving each other. The one that kept me fighting. We both lose someone we deeply care about so stop blaming yourself for failing him. You never once failed on your promise to Amias."

His lips curled into a smirk, his eyes staring at my own like he wanted to kiss me. But he did not move an inch. It was as though he was waiting for me to make the first move. To make sure I wanted this as much as he did. "If we were under better circumstances, I would kiss you right here and now, Soari Breevort. And if I was a better guy, I would care that you belong to my brother for he can give you the life you want. Amias is good, whereas I am the selfish one that doesn't care about anyone except for you."