From Shadow to Light - Book Ten

Ch. 8- Versions of Me

"We ran our hands over our pasts—lingering at the dents and worn edges of two hearts. And when I thought he would run away, he told me that I'd never have to fight another battle alone."

—Rosalind Ayelet—

In the debts of my bitter heart lies a ghost of a girl I used to be. You see, the war did not just take my Father away from me. It took away my innocence. And no matter how many times I try to conjure it back up again like a spell, it has disappeared within my soul. Here lies a woman with too much grief in her scarlet eyes—the only evidence that her Father was still with her. That he was real, after all. It took all my life to figure out that girls like me don't have happy endings. We are the ones that pick up the pieces the hero left behind when they undoubtedly leave the battle that they won. If it were up to anyone, I could disappear without a trace because who needs me anyway? Soari Breevort has her Guinevere brothers and siblings and both of her parents. Do I sound bitter? I guess sometimes I am because all I have is my brother barely visiting his little sister every few months, a mother that wallows in her own grief, and my Father's three close friends frequently forgetting that I even exist.

I stand here in the corner of the room and no one notices me. Except one. He is the only one that searches the room for me, the one that relaxes as he finds me hiding away from everyone. Though I cannot understand why he would be doing so in the first place? I am not special like my best friend Soari or have light in my veins like Emmeline. So why does he stare at me like I am? I look away as I stare at my own two feet, waiting patiently for Sor to wake up from her slumber. To see what our next step is to defeat Erebus and his shadows.

It is better this way. To be a ghost means no one can put you on a pedestal for the Kingdom to idolize and judge every chance they get. Ambrosia knows my name yet they do not speak on it. They are ashamed. Each and everyone of them pity me and my family for what we went through after my Father drew his final breath. Kellan Ayelet was the cunning Snake across countries and yet his own people never let him forget his own cowardice during the war with the Devil. Not until he redeemed himself but dying in front of everyone with a broken heart. I wonder if he realized his death was always going to end that way? Or if he cockily thought he was never going to die. So many fucking questions I want to ask him. So many go ignored because no one knew the true depth of who he was...not even my Mother.

There are many versions of me. Rosalind the Vampire. Rosalind the daughter of the Snake and his ruthless mate. Rosalind the little girl that almost died during the war if it weren't for Charles Breevort. Those are the easy parts of me that everyone loves, the ones they have constructed in their minds to make sense of who I am. Rosalind, Rosalind, Rosalind...

"Rose?" Vincent spoke as he brought me back into reality with one word. The notorious Vampire soldier was so close to me that I felt the addictive sweet blood coating his breath and the musky scent of sandalwood. I was leaning on the wall opposite of the others, as was Vincent while we both waited for our friend to wake up. Soari used most of her powers again against Erebus which meant this time was crucial for her to get them back, to replenish what she lost. Sometimes it took hours, even days but all of us did not dare leave her side. Not ever. I felt the soldier's unease showing through his overconfidence which made me whip my head around to face him. To inspect this mysterious man that dived head first into my life and never left. And in the months we spent living together, I do not think I ever want him to leave. He was cocky and arrogant to the point where it made me want to punch him in the face. I almost bare my fangs at him when he went on and on about all the girls he slept with but I knew it would only show him just how much I thought about him late at night. How much I longed for his touch on my skin...

Vincent's hazel eyes were addicting, utterly beautiful that I could not help but stare into them. To make me understand this Vampire that was strong enough to pull through all the ranks until his first mission was to protect the most important Vampires in all the Kingdom. "Yes?" I spoke softly, unable to form full sentences when my veins fought hard to stay frozen.