Be my Romeo.

5th

Ilang buwan na rin ang lumipas after our graduation.

We are all so busy preparing for our college lives. Ang school namin ay may high school and may college na rin so karamihan sa mga ka-batch ko ay dun pa rin mag-aaral sa school namin.

Including me. I was still hoping na iisang school pa rin ang papasukan namin ni Mon kaya dun pa rin ako nagcollege even though magkaiba kami ng course. Although ayaw ng mom ko dahil mas gusto niya kong ienroll sa mas malaking university like UST, La Salle, UP or Ateneo. Pero mas gusto ko lang talaga dito kaya wala silang nagawa.

Summer that time, nabalitaan ko rin kay Ken na nagbreak na si Mon at Faye.

Still not sure pero sabi nila, it's because may iba si Faye. That time, naalala ko yung lalaking nakita kong kasama ni Faye papasok ng room nila at magkaholding hands. I didn't know na totoo talaga yung nakita ko. I can't believe na magagawa yun ni Faye. Ang babaeng sobrang mahal na mahal ni Mon.

Gusto 'kong kamustahin si Mon 'nun. Gusto kong malaman kung okay ba sya. Tinatanong ko pa ang sarili ko, "Umiyak kaya si Mon? Ano kayang naging reaksyon ni Mon nung nalaman niya yon? Paano sila nagbreak, may nagcomfort kaya sa kanya nung nagbreak sila?"

Sobrang worried ako sa kanya nung mga panahong iyon. I was like, sana magawa ko siyang i-comfort para alam niyang andito pa rin ako. Kung sana maibalik ko lang yung dati. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt like crying.

Hindi ko akalain na magiging ganto lahat. Anong nangyari dahil sa katangahan ko? Bakit naging ganito?

Now I know why people are so scared risking something about relationship over their friendship. Because when something about love or relationship ruined, your friendship will sink with it and it'll fckin ruin you too.

I miss him. I miss him so bad. I miss those days that we were still friends. Those days that I can make him laugh easily. Those days that everything is okay... except me.

Why is it that I feel like people is not even scared to lose me? Like they didn't fckin care anyway. It hurts, so so so bad.