I love you (no homo)

Part Five

Brett thought that perhaps it was just a matter of time before he'd get used to it. Homophobia would magically disappear or whatever, because he genuinely wanted what was best for his friend. But somehow it was getting harder and harder to talk to him. It was getting harder and harder to see Daniel by his side. He had the feeling that it wasn't getting any easier, that it was actually depressing him. Intentionally or not, he began to spend less and less time in their room. He devoted himself to practicing, drinking bubble tea, or he would go to the bar.

The last option was the worst and the least productive, so of course he dedicated his time to it most often. It was the same today. And he shouldn't have drunk so much. Not because he was becoming an addict, not really, and not because he was talking nonsense or acting like an idiot after, so far he hadn't experienced drunkness in a way that would cause him trouble. The thing that actually worried him was the big assignment he was supposed to prepare for tomorrow - he glanced at his watch - for today, and he hadn't even started it. He'd have to do it overnight. He wondered if Eddy was already asleep.

He opened the door in a not-very gentle way. The light was on and his friend was reading some notes. 'What a tall night owl', thought Brett, not processing the thought any further. At this point, all he wanted to do was go to sleep, but he couldn't.

Eddy was saying something to him. Maybe he was laughing at Brett for returning drunk in the middle of the night. Deciding to ignore him, Brett sat down in the chair by the desk and turned on the laptop.

"What else are you still doing at this hour?" his friend asked. The question somehow made it through Brett's foggy brain, probably because Eddy's tone of voice had changed.

"I have an assignment," Brett mumbled. "Due tomorrow. I mean today."

"Show me," ordered Eddy, and without waiting for his reaction, he pulled up his chair and sat down next to him.

He took the mouse from his hand and looked at the instruction in the document Brett had just opened. The sleepy man didn't protest, he didn't have the strength or the will. Eddy read it all with a frown, ran his fingers through his hair, bit his lip, and finally sighed.

"Go to sleep, I'll do it for you," he said and again without waiting for an answer, he started writing something.

Brett had difficulty reacting quickly because the words he had heard seemed very unlikely to him. He laughed briefly.

"What are you talking about? Give me the laptop and go to sleep yourself. I have everything under control."

"Brett, your eyes are closed."

"I'm opening them right now. I'm gathering the strength."

With great effort, he opened his eyes and glanced at Eddy. He was completely absorbed in his work, had already managed to write two lines for him, and Brett had no energy to argue. Instead, wordlessly, he pulled his chair closer and lay down on the desk on his side so he could keep looking at his friend.

"Thanks," he murmured so quietly he wondered if he should repeat himself, but the smile on Eddy's face let him know that the information had gotten through.

Why was Eddy being so nice to him? Brett wanted to think that if the roles were reversed, he would have done the same, but to be honest, he wasn't definitely sure. It depended on many factors. What had he done to deserve a friend like Eddy?

'Oh', he thought, hovering somewhere between dream and reality, 'he's doing homework from a year up now. That shouldn't be within his capabilities yet, at least according to the curriculum. But he's doing it. He's always been the smarter one, hasn't he?'

For some reason, Brett thought it would be a good idea to share these thoughts.

"You're very intelligent, you know? That's quite hot," he said, but Eddy only looked at him as if he'd said the weirdest thing in the world.

"Okaay... So how much did you drink?"

Brett just smiled in response and his friend went back to work.

'Eddy has such a funny expression when he's focused,' Brett thought further. 'So serious. He's never that serious normally. When he swallows, his Adam's apple quivers, even though it's not all that visible. But that's probably normal.' Brett spent the next minute staring at that place on his neck.

"Does Daniel kiss your Adam's apple?" he asked as if it was the most natural thing in the world to ask.

Eddy's eyes widened greatly in response, so he decided to explain himself, "I'm asking because if it were me, I wouldn't want to give you hickeys in any such visible place, because that's a bit lame. But on the other hand, it's probably tempting. Which is why I'd aim for the violin hickey. No one could dispute that it wasn't from the violin."

He hoped everything was clear now, but Eddy's face didn't look like it was, so he added, "I'm just speaking hypothetically."

Eddy swallowed, and his apple moved.

"Brett... Can you and your hypothetical considerations shut up? I'm trying to help you."

"You're so red."

"I wonder why!"

"Why?"

"Brett, go to sleep now."

So Brett took his eyes off him and decided to shut up for the moment. It wasn't until the tapping sounds on the keyboard came back that he allowed himself to glance again.

Eddy had nice features. Why had he never thought of it before? Of course, he could see that he wasn't ugly, but somehow he didn't think of it that way. Did Daniel know what a pretty and smart boyfriend he was with? Did Daniel have the right to touch that face and kiss it with his lips? Because if Brett could, then...

"Hey," Eddy called. He had a smile on his face. "Now you're the one who's red. Are you sure you don't have a fever on top of being drunk?"

When Brett didn't answer, the smile vanished from Eddy's face and he placed a hand on Brett's forehead.

"It's hard to tell... Well, you're a little warm. Are you sure you don't want to go lie down now?"

And Brett realized it was impossible for him to be homophobic. Because if he was to fall asleep, more than anything in the world he wanted to do so in Eddy's arms.