English Edition
"It's never been easy for John to get over his cheating husband, so he fled to Italy for a vacation in the hope that he'll be able to forget everything. But destiny had other plans; he met a stranger named Evan, who eventually became...
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Day 7
JOHN
I woke up feeling cold as I got up, I yawn as I turned to check Evan's bed next to mine, but it was still empty and looked the same as it was last night. So he hasn't yet arrived back? I stood up as soon as possible and went to the balcony to stretch my body.
As I stepped out onto the balcony, the cool morning air hit me like a slap in the face. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to ward off the chill. The sky was a deep shade of blue, with the sun just starting to peek over the horizon. I took a deep breath, letting the crisp air fill my lungs.
I had been waiting for Evan since last night, but there was still no sign of him. I had tried calling him multiple times, but his phone was going straight to voicemail. I had even sent him a text, but he hadn't responded. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
The water was calm and still, reflecting the pink and orange hues of the sunrise. It was such a peaceful sight, yet I couldn't enjoy it fully with the worry weighing on my mind.
"I suppose it's just me for today," I said quietly to myself. I knew that I liked Evan, and I was physically and emotionally attracted to him. But what if I fell for him the same way I did for Hanz? Again, I'd be devastated and depressed. The thought sent a shiver down my spine, and I pushed it aside, deciding to focus on the present moment instead.
"I'm trying to get over the person I love, but am I still allowed to like someone?" I muttered to myself, my eyes still closed. With a shake of my head, I tried to rid myself of the confusing thoughts.
"Do I still love Hanz?" I asked quietly to myself, the words barely audible. It had only been a short while since I had arrived in Italy, but already I had become so caught up in the excitement of exploring this new place with Evan that I had almost forgotten about the person I had left behind.
I had always been aware of my tendency to be gullible, and I had promised myself that I would be more careful this time around. But with Evan, it felt different. He was charming and kind, and I had found myself falling for him in a way that I never had with Hanz.
But despite my feelings for Evan, the question lingered in the back of my mind: did I still love Hanz? Had I made a mistake by leaving him behind?
Suddenly, a memory flashed into my mind. The abuse from my father always haunts me. I remember feeling scared, helpless, and alone whenever he would lash out at me. I would try to be on my best behavior just so he wouldn't hurt me, but it never seemed good enough for him.
As I got older, the abuse became more psychological and emotional. My father would belittle me, call me names, and make me feel worthless. He would also control every aspect of my life, from what I could wear to who I could hang out with.
I think part of the reason why I am so drawn to people who make me happy is because I am desperately searching for that love and support that I never received from my own father. I want someone to make me feel loved, worthy, and valued.
