Our Love. (Jakehoon)

Chapter 29

In my panic, I picked up the broken glass on the floor. I know what I did was stupid but I'm not myself anymore. I don't care anymore. even if there is blood on my hands. it's like I don't feel any pain. until, he held my hand.

"Jake, son."

I immediately removed his hand from me and looked at him. son? Wow.

"What are you doing here?" I said as i raised my voice a little

"I'm here for you jake."

I laughed a little at what he said, I frowned my eyebrows and glanced at my mom. I know sunghoon and jihun saw that but I don't care, That's right that he should know how much I hated my father.

"After all these years? you didn't even look for me? And then you will suddenly show yourself to me? then you will say that you are here for me? Have you lost your mind?"

"I know you're still mad at me, Please forgive me, Jake, son." He was about to hold my hand but I immediately took it.

"I am not your son!"

"Jake! He's still your Father!" My mom shouted but ignored it.

I was suddenly annoyed, tears started to fall because of annoyance ."Since the day you left us, I forced myself to think that I don't have a father anymore! I don't have a father, I'm not your child!" I shouted at him. I couldn't control my anger anymore. "dad! I always wonder why you left us! I always tell you not to leave us, but why? appa why? since you met your new girl...you lost interest your in me I almost went crazy wondering why you left us!... I was so hurt that time."

"I'm sorry jake"

"Shut Up!" I don't want to listen to him anymore. I left and went up to my room. I don't want to hear his voice. Why does he have to come back? I'm fine without him. I am totally fine but why?

"Jake!" My mom shouted and I didn't respond or glanced at her

I immediately entered my room and closed the door. I leaned against the door. I sat there and couldn't stop crying. Every time I see my father, my emotions were mixed. Anger, annoyance and sadness. I don't want to hate my own father but every time I think about what he did to us, especially to me. no matter how hard I try, I can't do anything but hate him. am I bad? Am I very bad son?

"Jake ali.....open the door, let's talk please?"

"Sunghoon, please leave me alone. I want to be alone" I didn't see him but I knew he was leaning against the door of my room.

"No, I won't leave you. I know how you feel, And I know you've been keeping it to yourself for a long time. Jake, you need to let it out, I'm here, I'll listen to you. Even if you don't open the door."

I didn't speak, sunghoon and I both didn't speak. I thought that I was angry with my father. For a while, I couldn't tell my mom about it, because I knew she wouldn't understand me.

"When I'm still young, my dad is always with me, I'm Daddy's boy, we're really close, yeah. I know he's my dad but at the same time, he's my best friend" I stopped talking and cried. It's been a long time but even after that, I haven't forgotten it and it will never be present in my heart and mind. I don't want Sunghoon to see me like this but I can't stop myself. Also, he is the only one who understands me.

"When we went to Australia, I thought we would still be happy, but I was wrong. He met my mom's best friend. In less than a few months, they became together. I pretended that i didn't know they relasionship. My idolized father cheated on my mom. No matter how many times I force myself that dad didn't do anything bad, I can't. It's so painful, isn't it?"

"Am I a bad child? Maybe....I was just hurt too much, The one who was always there for me, my best friend, my dad at the same time. I never thought that he would leave me just
like that, How many years I looked for father but no, he's not there. Sunghoon, it hurts a lot" My crying only got louder. I have a very strong feeling, mom and dad can hear it downstairs.

"Jake, I understand how you feel, I know how much pain you feel but you shouldn't abandon your family even if they abandoned you. He's still your dad"

I can not believe. I thought, He understood me but why does he still seem to be siding with my dad? I thought he was on my side but I was wrong. And i already felt really irratated and angry at sunghoon "if You're going to take my father side leave me alone! Give me my son and go away" I feel like i couldn't breathe from crying so much.

"Jake, understand me too-"

"Sunghoon I don't need you! So go away!"

He didn't speak for a few minutes after what he said, we both didn't speak. After a while, I heard him stand up and it didn't take long for him to speak. "Jihun, when I leave here, go into mommy's room right away, huh? he needs you"

"Why? Where are you going?"

"That's not important, Daddy will just go home to my own house, but I'll come visit you again here." that's what I heard.

"Just talk to me when you're okay. I'm right here. Jihun is already in front of your door." I heard his footsteps coming down the stairs. I opened the door and saw my son looking at his daddy while coming down. I looked at him for a few minutes and took him, locked the door of my room and went straight to bed. And putted jihun next to me. I covered myself with a blanket and a pillow, then I cried and cried.

"Mommy....why are you crying? and why are you yelling at daddy?" my son asked. I couldn't answer his question because I was crying so much. He also waited for a few minutes for my answer.

"Jihun." I called and took the blanket that was wrapped around me, I sat in front of him and looked at him

"Yes?" he answered.

"Promise me.....that you won't leave mommy?" I asked him. Only my son understands me. He is my comfort. I was surprised when he suddenly hugged me.

Promise. I love you mommy." when I heard those words, I suddenly cried. I wonder what it would be like if he wasn't here? what's my life without him?

"I love you more...My everything."