Someone At My Side || Joel Miller

The Effects of Time

20 Years Later
The plastic gloves covering Nic's hands are about two sizes too big and falling apart; they are infuriating. There's a large hole where her thumb is poking out but she's only allowed one set of gloves a day. It's barely 2:00 in the afternoon. There seems to be a never-ending line at the Boston QZ Food Ration Distribution Facility.
Her clocking time ends at 4 and it's a half-hour walk back to her apartment complex, then she has thirty minutes till she has to start dinner in time for when Joel gets home. He'll probably eat in silence, look at her once if she's lucky, and then close himself off in their room for a few hours, and when Nic goes in there later he'll be passed out on pills and whiskey. She'll follow him.
Tess will pop in late as always, eat cold leftovers, and crash in the next room over.
But for now, Nic continues to throw cans of beans, corn, and pears into bags. Stuff that is easily produced for the masses. Things like fruit, meat, and vegetables, some of which have a high probability of coming from before the outbreak. Most stuff stopped being manufactured in sync with the rest of the world.
Nic doesn't make friends in QZs. People form connections, but they don't have friends. Kim was a good example of that. Nic and Kim were not friends, they didn't make each other pies or get coffee together but when times were rough when one of them didn't show up to work, there'd always be an extra card at their workstation. What encouraged their "bond" the most was that they met in the Fireflies, a dying rebellion.
Kim's gone today, so Nic clocks out late at the end of her shift and takes a spare card, and attaches it to the underside of the table, spearing the end on a nail poking out. Some lower-ranked FEDRA officers walk down the isles of food preppers, shouting orders that it's time to get out.
The sun's setting and Nic fears what's to come, dreads the quietness of their home, the coldness of Joel's shoulder. There is this hollowness to their life now, not just because of what they lost.
The walk home is quiet, it's going to rain soon and there's too much humidity in the air so Nic is sweating through her shirt. Curfew is quick to come and by the time she makes it to the front door of their complex, Nic is being shouted at by patrol officers. The three flights of stairs kill Nic's knees and as she's opening the front door, her leg is on fire.
It's dark. She's late.
The house is dead, Nic wants to get away so she opens the door to her room. There are some loose pills and a half-finished glass of whiskey, she makes sure to take care of those before walking over to the bed. It's a crappy mattress sitting on a piece of plywood and some cement blocks, covered by one of those old grandma quilts that were rationed out when it got colder. Joel is sleeping on her side of the bed.
Years of experience and practice allow Nic to slip into bed effortlessly keeping Joel asleep. As she relaxes into the mattress, her back releases all the tension held up from the long day of work, and Nic's arm slips over Joel's side.
Sometimes people are kinder when they are asleep.
Though her eyes are closed, it's easy for Nic to think about how they have aged, her knee never seemed to fully recover, and Joel has lasting scars. His hair is getting lighter and her bones sure aren't getting younger. Nic can't let herself think more about time, can't let herself fall apart in this bed next to Joel, thinking about what should have been happening, where they should have been.

Nic wakes up to the sounds of Tess in the kitchen. She must've gotten in late last night for Nic to not have heard her. The noises remind Nic that she didn't make dinner and forgot to eat yesterday entirely. The pain in her stomach doesn't help either. Joel and Nic both must have turned around at some point while sleeping because now it was Jeol's arm wrapped around her stomach. They were both awake but didn't move for a moment. Couldn't bring themselves to break out of this quiet island.
Forcing herself to make the first move, Nic walks out of the room without looking back at Joel. Nic knows herself enough to know that the hard gaze on Joel's face would not help the long day to come.
Tess is making some sad excuse for coffee that FEDRA has to offer and juggles over three cups. Joel and Nic sit across from her without a word. Nic stares down at the cup for a moment before raising it to her lips, holding her breath to avoid the awful taste as much as possible, and drinks. It's putrid but it's all they really have. Tess faces them.
"I got jumped by a couple guys." Joel tries to get up on his feet instantly, moving closer to examine Tess' swollen eye. She gives him a look that has him sitting down again. Nic doesn't move to question the woman. She gives Tess her attention but doesn't react to the injury. It's not the first time one of them came home beat up from the streets.
"What guys?" Joel gently moves Tess' head so the light hits her face better. There's a split right next to her eye that's still oozing, Nic imagines that it's painful.
"Just a couple teenagers. Said some shit, probably shouldn't've." Nic gets up to grab some alcohol and a cloth, thinking of the infection that could come from that open wound. "Come on. You know these guys were born after the outbreak. Never learned how to argue. They just start swingin'. Fuckin' 19-year-old pieces of shit."
Tess is mainly talking to herself, filling the silence. Nic appreciates it because Joel can't seem to loosen up and Nic knows she wouldn't be able to say anything of substance.
"It's a miracle you're alive," Joel grumbles as Nic crouches down next to Tess' chair and starts to dab the wet cloth on the woman's head.
"It's a miracle any of us are alive."
Nic snorts, "Poetic." The comment leaves Tess chuckling, looking over at her and smirking.
"These aren't new," Joel interrupts their moment. Nic glances at him once before turning back to Tess's bruises.
"No. I was in FEDRA lockup all day. Anyway, it doesn't matter." Nic begs to differ. FEDRA lockup is almost worse than being on the streets. The officers there are higher ranking, meaning they get paid more to be assholes. Tess gently pushes Nic's hand away and looks between Joel and the woman squatting. "I need you to take a breath."
"What?" Joel cuts to the chase, not wanting to dance around what Tess needs to tell them.
"Joel..." Nic sighs.
"What?" He asks again, not pausing to acknowledge Nic. The disregard stings. Tess doesn't address the clear issue between them.
"The guys who jumped me were with Robert. He sold our battery to someone else." Joel brings his hands up to his head, processing what this means to their plans, and to Tommy. "Nothing's lost. Shit like this is gonna happen. Now we just shake it off, and we go get our cards back, or the battery," Tess continues on but Joel won't have any of it.
"I need the battery, Tess." Joel is up on his feet instantly, walking away from the women to sit on the couch. Tess gets up to follow him, Nic is close behind but not without her knee protesting some. "Truck's no good without one, and if I don't get to Tommy soon, he's gonna die out there."
In some of the minimal conversations Joel and Nic had had over the past week, Tommy's disappearance was one of them. Communication every day for 20 years and then nothing for the past two weeks. It had been causing Nic some anxiety, knowing that anything could happen to him out there. They didn't have many people to call family out there in the world.
"Okay, fuck it." Tess peers at Joel and Nic, nodding her head. "We get our money back and the battery. But, Joel," She turns to him and waits till he looks at her, making sure she has his full attention before she goes on. "Listen, Robert is terrified of you. So you march outta here all Clint Eastwood, he's gonna get wind of it and skip. I need you to take a breath."
Joel listens this time and inhales softly before asking. "Who'd he sell it to?"
"Don't know."
"Well, where is he?" Joel's patience doesn't last long and Tess can tell.
"Don't know... yet. But we're gonna find out... quietly. Understand? Now I promised Robert that you wouldn't hurt him. But I would very much like for you to hurt him. So let's go hunt that motherfucker down, and get our battery and our truck, and then we'll go find Tommy. All right?"
"All right," Joel says after a while. Nic watches him for a moment before sitting down next to him, resting her head on his shoulder, and slowly his arm moves to wrap around her back. No one says anything as Joel holds her and she sighs. It's progress.
It'd been a few weeks since they got into the fight. She'd come home and Joel had been furious and intoxicated. They both said things they shouldn't have and Nic just started sleeping in their bed again. This argument... it would take time for things to get back to "normal". If there was a categorical normal anymore.
Nic glances at Tess who is watching her, the bruises on her face still look painful. Tess nods to her, a gesture that tells Nic what words couldn't convey.
"Sounds like a plan," Nic says but not a single one of them can bring themselves to get up and leave.