The Secrets We Keep

Secrets

Present Day

The morning air had a bite to it. Winter was definitely coming. I pulled my jacket around me a little tighter and my mind wandered to Daryl. He is supposed to be telling Judith and RJ right now. They are resilient children wise beyond their years, but we kept secrets from them and as grown as they seem they are still only children.

Carol's office was inside Union Station, a beautiful building that we used as municipal offices and a train station. It is always bustling with people, the sounds and smells lower my guard and I have to remind myself that just beyond the walls is a dangerous wasteland. Of course, because of my job I'll never be able to forget that. My stomach was doing flips as I walked up the steps. I know what this meeting is about and I'm nervous as hell.

I could see Carol's office, but not Daryl. He either wasn't here or was already inside. God, I hope she didn't start without me. Just as my stomach did another flip a familiar hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me into an empty office.

"Glad I caught ya." He whispered. I stared at him, taking in the sight. He is beautiful. His dark hair was wavy and a little messy. No doubt from our interrupted shower. He didn't have time to shave this morning, so he had some stubble. I brushed the back of my hand over it. I loved that feeling. He closed his eyes at my touch. I grabbed his vest and pulled him down for a kiss. He tasted like cigarettes and coffee. When we parted, he looked at me, his passionate eyes turned to concern. "Why do ya look like you'll never see me again?"

I gathered my thoughts, he'd know soon enough why I looked like I was about to lose something. "I've been so worried about how the kids took the news." Only half of the truth.

He smiled and kissed me again. "Why? They don't care. Y'all are already family. The only difference is they'll be seeing more of ya, which they are happy about." He laughed. "They are excited to see ya tonight. Said they don't see ya much when I'm gone."

"Oh, well I try to see them, but Carol's got them on a strict schedule and turns me away most of the time." Again, only half the truth.

"This job is making her weird. Come on, we can't stay here forever. As much I want to..." one hand on the wall by my head, the other hand putting just a bit of pressure on my throat then releasing. A tiny moan escaping my mouth. He turned and walked out, me following behind. Shit. This was gonna be hard.

As we walked into Carol's office Daryl wasted no time asking why she wouldn't let me see the kids. Behind him my eyes were wide, pleading with her. "That's a great question, let's talk about it." I mouthed a thank you just before Daryl turned around. "Whatever. You're acting weird these days. This job is changin' ya." Carol shot me an impatient and irritated glance. I returned a sympathetic one.

"Why are we here? I've got stuff to do today. Important stuff." He spat the words. Now he's mad at Carol before he even needs to be and it's all my fault.

"What could be more important than talking to me? You got a date or something." She smiled at his obvious discomfort, then looked at me. It was my turn to give her an irritated look.

"Sit down. Both of you." We followed instructions well. I sat nervously while Daryl appeared to be angry still.

"Daryl," she took a deep breath and continued. "I sent River to the Poppy Farm about six months ago; I had a feeling something wasn't right. I was correct." Daryl kept his eyes on her. "She ran into some trouble... then found a new settlement about 100 miles north." He was vibrating; he looked over at me. Anger and hurt written on his face.

"What kind of trouble?" I could see how hard it was for him to keep voice down.

"Nothing I couldn't handle."