words of isolation

love is you

does it ever crossed your mind what are the words i kept to myself every time i peered into your idyllic eyes? or perhaps not always, but by watching you do your thing and a sweet smile plaster on my delicate yet pale lips. does it ever preoccupy you in the same way that unforgettable qoutes and conversations in your favorite movies does? do your ever think my thoughts will touch your heart? do you wonder? because i do.

of all people, you know better that i lack eloquence in my words, i struggle with them. at times, i cry a river when i can't come up of any good ones. now and then, i've been experiencing alexithymia. my thoughts are like our society, messy and mingledly.

god knows how eudaemonia it was when he gave me an ethereal being that he created and that i unquestioningly embraced. no language nor dialect can ever adequately explain the euphoria feeling when i finally taste the flavor of falling in love. you gave it to me, and wow, surprisingly, it doesn't taste like the bitter definitions i read everywhere, because love is everywhere, but not always explained well. albeit not knowing what it actually feels, i believed them. yet, when the time comes someone were ever to ask me what love is; i would utter you name, because darling, you are the quintessence to it.

you hugged me; i felt special, and i thought to myself, “what they had stated was true. like a drug, it's addicting.”
 
you cooked for me; it was serendipitous and so i thought, “cringe, but i'd cry for this.”
 
you smiled at me; my rosy cheeks reddened, i felt butterflies whirling inside of me and all of the sudden, i felt like i have the whole universe. “i'll give up anything just to have this felicity of mine.” i said to myself.
 
you kissed me; it was haven, and so i reached for your heart and brought to you something that both you and i deserve. i giggled and a thought came up to me. “if this is what they mean by love, then i love love.”

they are thousands of words; if to be put in a book, it would need a part two, or even a part three with thick pages and voluminous phrases. so much love, flows smoothly than a river. it's the ocean, deep yet i will not ponder for a minute over it and dive right into its profoundness. 

i was pursuaded of the truth that i'm not good at my words and it frustrates me, so my coping mechanism was to fool myself that some things are better left unsaid; matters to be passed over in silence. but when i'm with you, i think and write of best ones. my life was the perfect darkness, withal when you came, on the spur of the moment, it illuminated extreme light that i had previously believed only sun and moon could have. boy, you took me out of my own familiar world into a new wonderful one.
 
and if you would ask me to depict you in one word, i would say - love.