"You always hurt the one you love, the one you shouldn't hurt at all
You always take the sweetest rose and crush it till the petals fall"
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Grace didn't know how long she'd been in the shower, letting the water pour down on her face. She thought she didn't have any tears left in her but they must have mixed in with the water. Her chest was tight and ridden with guilt. Finding out that Toni was alive... and then that he was dead within in a matter of seconds took a toll on her already unstable mental state.
What puzzled her was how Toni ended up here and why he would ever be a Savior. Sure, he was strong as hell. But Toni was the sweetest of souls and the type of guy who'd despise someone like Negan and everything he stands for.
It was her own people that killed him. It seemed too absurd to be true. Grace didn't even let it fully sink in. She was scared to. Her body went numb at the thought of it. She couldn't face what that would mean. That her people murdered her best friend, and she supported it. She'd be a hypocrite. They all would be. They are.
The water splashed on her for a few more moments, as if in attempt to cleanse her from every thought and memory she'd ever had.
She missed Toni so much. Her soul ached.
Grace got out of the shower and slipped on a black long-sleeve Harley Davidson shirt that was five sizes too big for her. But everything else in her dresser was either lingerie or tight-fitting, neither of which she ever planned on wearing here. Surely it was meant for Negan's wives.
It'd been hard to stomach food or the idea of eating ever since she arrived. Her stomach churned and she couldn't tell if it was from lack of food or the news of Toni.
What she needed more than anything was a distraction. Something to stop her mind racing. She grabbed onto the book One Hundred Years of Solitude that was sat on the small coffee table and slumped herself down onto the pink love-seat. But no matter how hard she tried to focus on the words dancing across the page, Toni slithered into her thoughts. Her mind reeling, her heart aching.
She threw the book onto the coffee table, pulling her lips to the side and biting on it anxiously. Grace decided to head to the cafeteria. She had some points now and needed to try and eat something. Maybe that would help.
The door closed softly behind her and she made her way down the long, winding hallway. Grace sucked in a sharp breath when she saw Negan and Amber practically eating each other's faces. It made her stop in her tracks, not wanting to walk past or interrupt them. Her eyes dropped to the floor when Negan caught her gaze. He grinned pompously as his wife continued to kiss on his face, then he whispered something in her ear which made her stop to look at Grace. The way Amber watched her for a few seconds before going back into the room made Grace cower back a little.
Grace fixed her posture, unsure of what to do with herself.
Negan sauntered over to her, licked his lips and grinned. "You get off watchin' that shit?"
She scoffed and lifted a hand to motion down the hall. "I was going to the cafeteria."
He chuckled, "I'm messin' with you, doll," and reached into the pocket of his leather jacket, "I was headed to your room but as you can see my wives are needy as shit. Hell, I can't blame 'em. I'm a busy man."
She didn't respond. It's like Negan was always one-hundred-percent on and she didn't have the energy for him. Negan handed her the red string bracelet. She clutched onto it, eyeing it like it was her saving grace.
She looked up at him. "Thanks."
Negan stood slanted and studied her, narrowing his eyes in concern. He stuck his tongue out the side of his teeth. "You look like holy hell, darlin'. What's wrong?"
Grace let out a sigh, her eyes darting everywhere except for his face. It was great to know that the hurt she felt inside was so reflective on her appearance.
"Daryl is fine."
She shook her head, "that's not–" but cut herself off, not wanting to explain herself. Grace was grateful, but her mind was overwhelmed with emotions of shock. What happened to Toni was eating her alive.
"What is it?"
Her eyes met his. "We're not friends, Negan."
He leaned back, all smug. "Shit, I thought you cryin' on my shoulder last night solidified our friendship."
Grace put her hands in her jean pockets and felt heat creep on her cheeks. She swallowed, embarrassed. She wanted to forget how stupid she was but Negan was there to remind her. His grin weakened.
"It's not like we fucked, Grace. You cried. Not a big fuckin' deal. And trust me, I get it. None of this crap is easy but you don't have to be so goddamn awkward with me."
"I really don't want to talk about it," she said, impatient to get out of his presence. "Can I go now? Please."
He eyed her up and down, his lips pressed together and brows slightly raised, before picking up his bat which was resting against the wall. Negan squinted an eye at her. "You wanna go for a ride? Actually, scratch that." He tilted his Lucille-wielding hand at her enthusiastically. "You are goin' on a ride with me!"
