Into the Starry Night

Twenty-One - Part Two

"I feel like I shouldn't have come," Timini stated as he shifted heavily on the bench beside me.

I had had enough of the party and after we took care of the flowers I opted to sit in this tranquil park for a minute.

It was well lit by orange street lamps and even though it was already a little late there were still people about. Some were taking a stroll, others were walking and playing with their different dogs.

Compared to the people around I stuck out like a sore thumb. While most of them were in common street clothes I was still in my tight, showy purple dress and I garnered a few strange looks from passersby.

"Really?" I took my eyes off a pair of joggers and turned toward him. "And why do you feel that exactly?"

"Well, for one you haven't uttered more than two words to me. You've never been this quiet around me."

"You're going to have to forgive me for that. I'm just trying to figure out exactly how I keep summoning you."

That drew a laugh out of him and the sound made me laugh too. I instantly felt ten times lighter.

"Seriously though," I started after we both calmed down. "What are you doing here, Timini? How are you even here right now?"

"Don't be mad but I kind of eavesdropped on your conversation with your publicist during one of our lunches. I'm sorry, believe me, it wasn't intentional at all," he assumed a sheepish look and reached a hand to the back of his head, making the silver bracelets around his wrist rattle together. "I know I should've asked first but I wanted it to be a surprise. Are you mad?"

I shook my head, too tired to do anything else. "It's fine, I'm glad you're here."

And I was. It was a welcome relief to look at someone and not feel angry or remorseful or guilty. And it also didn't hurt that that someone was easy on the eyes.

Timini was dressed in a very well-tailored black suede tuxedo that had a very enticing sheen. I kept thinking of reaching out and touching his broad shoulders just to know how the material felt under my fingertips and every time I had to remind myself I was veering into inappropriate territory.

"You don't look very glad," he tucked a ringed finger under my chin and made me look at him. "What's wrong?"

The concern in his ocean-blue eyes caused my own to water.

"Depends. How long have you got?" I let out a small, self-deprecating chuckle.

"As long as you need," he answered seriously.

I debated for a minute about opening up to him. Did I want another person out there to know about me?

The intense look in his eyes answered my question.

"I haven't seen my family in three years and I miss them like crazy," I started. "And I tell myself every day that I stay away because I don't want them caught up in the lifestyle that I live, you know with the paparazzi and the whole world watching, but as each day passes I realize more and more that that's a lie. The truth is I don't talk to them because I'm embarrassed."

I toyed with the matte purple nails on my hand as a lump formed in my throat.

"Embarrassed?" Timini moved closer and I was thankful for his warmth because I was slowly losing feeling in my arms. "Embarrassed about what?"

"Everything? Nothing? Sometimes I don't need a reason to torture myself."

A stray tear slid down my cheek and I wiped it away.

"God, I'm just being stupid," I gave a wan laugh. "Don't mind me."

"Hey," I felt a hand on my back. "Having insecurities isn't stupid and if it is then I guess everyone is a little stupid, and you know what? That's completely ok."