The Calm After the Storm || Hyunlix

Paranoid

                                                "You think I'm crazy."

     Hyunjin stares at the ceiling while lying on his bed. Thinking about what to do as his cheeks continued to be covered with more and more tears. Hyunjin always had this feeling that someone was watching him. But it had never been this bad.

     Usually, he would jump a bit if there was a gust of wind or see someone looking at him from the corner of his eye, but they weren't. Now not even one person had to be around him for Hyunjin to feel like someone was staring at him... to see someone staring at him. Hyunjin lifted his hand up to wipe the tears from his cheek and turned his head to the side to quickly grab his phone and check what time it was. And just his luck... 6 more freaking hours until he would normally get up.

     He had closed and locked all his windows and doors. He even turned off his AC but as a small gust of wind, small enough to just be someone breathing, crept down his neck. Hyunjin tried his best to stifle his sobs. He kept his eyes on the ceiling letting the tears free fall down his face.

                                                    In the morning

     Hyunjin woke up with his eyes stinging and his face aching. He slipped out of bed and gathered some clothes from his closet. Closing his hands around his ears as he walks to the bathroom, drowning out the slow breathing from behind him. Hyunjin takes a quick cold shower, wiping his dry and puffy face with the freezing water. Drying off and slipping on black jeans and a gray sweatshirt that was a bit too big for him, Hyunjin headed off to his friend's house.

     He had undergone this torture for way too long and couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't be alone, and these last few days have been horrific. Hyunjin pulled the sleeves of his sweatshirt over his fingers. He rubbed his hands together hoping to find warmth between the two. The walk felt like it lasted forever but the singing from the birds and the light rustling of the trees made Hyunjin feel calmer. The cold air constantly stinging at his hands made him seek warmth more.

     As Hyunjin walked into his friend's neighborhood his footsteps quickened as he reminded himself. He was closer to finding someone he was close with and didn't have to worry about being alone. He looked at his phone to see if he got the address right and looked back up at the door. Hyunjin had never really been to his friend's house because of all the things he had been experiencing throughout his life.

     Hyunjin lifted his finger to the metal doorbell and as soon as he was about to touch it, he received an intense shock and let out a sharp breath. He tried again, quickly pressing the button hoping to not be shocked again.

     He heard footsteps coming from the other side of the door slowly getting closer. His friend opened the door looking confused. His eyebrows that were lifted in confusion quickly curved into worry as he saw the state of Hyunjin. "Hey, Felix." Hyunjin said, his eyes threatening to shut every few seconds. Hyunjin had gotten no sleep last night along with the other few days. All day he would sit around and get shocked by any metal thing he touched and then spend hours every night, but try not to, crying from the mixed feelings of loneliness, anxiousness, and pure terror.

     Felix opened the door wider and stepped to the side making space for Hyunjin to step inside. Felix closed the door behind him as he turned around and watched Hyunjin sit on the couch. He walked over and sat on the couch beside him, creating an awkward silence between the two, although Hyunjin didn't mind. A few moments later, Felix turned to face Hyunjin watching as he fiddled with the rings on his fingers and opened and closed his mouth as if he was trying to say something. Felix decides to break the silence with a question of his own. "Um... why did you come here?" he asks, hoping he didn't come off as annoyed. Hyunjin's head shot up, but he seemed to calm down when his eyes met Felix's.

     Hyunjin opened and closed his mouth a couple times, making it seem like he was processing what to say. Then he just sighed and lowered his eyes to the ground.

     "Can I stay here-" He pauses, "-for a little bit?" Felix watches Hyunjin twist and turn the rings on his fingers, staring at him in confusion. Hyunjin felt awkward sitting there, waiting for an answer, and Felix didn't have an answer. "Why?" Felix asked as softly as he could. Hyunjin felt a lump form in his throat as the voices in his head got louder. "Tell him." It spoke. He didn't want to, but for the first time Hyunjin agreed with the voice. "I'm scared." He finally said, still looking down at his shoes. Felix nodded silently, signaling him to continue.

     "I'm hearing things. Seeing things that aren't there, feeling things." He says. "And the whole time I've been alone, I can't do it anymore." His eyes filled with tears. "You said you've been alone, how is that possible?" Felix asks while looking at him. "I don't know." Hyunjin says trying his best not to cry. "It may just be your imagination." Felix suggests, waiting for an answer. "No. No way, it's real." Hyunjin says, shaking his head. "Hyunjin-" Felix starts. "It's...!" Hyunjin begins, raising his voice but soon calming down. "...It's real, Felix," Hyunjin says, letting out a shaky breath.

     Felix presses his lips into a thin line, turning around so he's not facing Hyunjin anymore. "You think I'm crazy. Don't you?" Hyunjin asks, finally lifting his head up to face Felix, tears threatening to spill from the corners of his eyes. Felix's head immediately shoots up, shaking it many times. "No! Never." Felix confesses. "I just want to help you." He says. Felix placed his hand over Hyunjin's to stop him from fiddling with his rings anymore.

"Will you let me help you?"