Why cant I see the light?

Online Order

(Wow first chapter alr- keeping it tame) 

Songs Listened to: {4 AM, Tell your story, Write it down, & Why, By Derivakat}

Dont you love how mothers always 'care for you' but not in the way you would like? Its over bearing the pressure they put on you always and you cant do anything about it, Why? because their your mother and 'listen to your parents and your days will be long' (you will understand later) 

Today is not so bad, literally 5 minutes ago this took place, and i thought i might as well post something because i've been stalling and putting off anythin' that happens but oh well. 

So mother comes into the room and asks us what we would like from McDonalds for a surprise she failed to pull off because online purchase's are weird, we are only able to get cheeseburgers and mom tried to get an ice cream cone, I had said that i wanted one and said i will alter my order so i can get that instead, and immediately there is something wrong.

She says, "Be greatful for what your getting, and always thank god." And carries on about that

(I have a bad memory so count alot on that)

And I said "I was only suggesting"

And mother is happy with that response and says okay.

I wasnt suggesting I actually wanted one, but to survive this family you have to lie, and improvise. Especially if you have a little brother with anger issues, and LOVES to make you sort out all the family issues between them when they argue when they have different points on something. But thats not the point of today.

When I type the order she says "did you order the ice cream?"

I say "No"

She says "Why not? Replace it and add 2"

And I say "You said to be greatful, so I only want the burgrs"

Mother says "No change it, tell him to get 2"

And I say "No, I dont want it, besides we have ice cream in the fridge"

'Not that im going to eat it because of bad habits-'

And she is satisfied yet again.

Then she talks about Thanking god after every meal,

And my little brother says "Yes, Yes mom she knows"

and I respond back "I got it - - -"

Why? hes just being nice? Because its an occuring problem that my voice doesnt get heard in any situation, I dont need my little brother to speak for me when im capable of it on my own

Rude? maybe but he doesnt do anything to help me, sure he tries to be nice but that isnt my goal. My goal is to survive this house and he doesnt help in the slightest by arguing with mother when they have different points. But regardless on to the rest of the story.

Mother talked about that some more how my little brother, dad always called him 'his little greatness' and etc, blah blah blah i dont remember and she gets on my nerves-

Anyways she leaves and im listening to music rn to drown the reality of life ->-

Ya kinda get used to it after years, maybe one day i can share my whole life with yall (not naming anybody though)

Also sorry if this seems dumb for a first chapter however anything can get under my skin when it comes to her so you might hear more dumb little stories (Unless we go to church tomorrow then you'll get an 'ear full')

Anyway thats all!

Side note also! We have a big brother and big sister (which are step siblings but still-) The dont live with us nor either fathers. So its just me, my little brother, and mom, and a guest. FUN

So hope you enjoyed the first update, trying to keep it tame for the first chapter, Adios!

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