•𝙿𝚘𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚢•

𝐹𝑎𝑡 - 𝑃ℎ𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑥 || тяιggєя ωαяиιиg: 𝔼𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕖𝕣

I hate the rubbing of my thighs as they meet
I hate the scrape of my chubby arms against my knees
I hate the limbs located just above my feet.

Yet I can't change
I can't twist, and bend, and break
I can't fix myself up pretty,
Like I'd wish to be

The Truth is,
It's so that I can be adored
Yet, when their eyes land on me
They seem bored
When can I stop being ignored?

Words have been spoken
Things have been said
Now I throw up after every meal
Until the liquid spewing from my mouth turns red

Why can't you see that your words hurt?
Why can't you see that it's hard enough to keep going,
Even without your dirt?

And it hurts
The words stabbing
And I wish to just hear your lovely chirp
The sound of your voice in the dark saying "you're not fat, just ignore"
To mend my sore
To fix my heart
To shield be from the downpour

I've had people look at me weirdly
I've had people call me names
Yet I wonder "why do they do this?
Do they just like seeing my pain?"

So many have left me
Not even the mouse in my wall still chatters
And the word "trust" has left my vocabulary
And now I haven't a clue what it means.
Do you?

I know it's because of my looks
I know it's because of my sound
Yet the question still beckons to me

"Why does nobody want me around?"