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then we kiss and his lips turn into sand
and the whole of him cascades through my hands
making a castle on the floor
then i'm alone again
•••••
the storm.
TW: panic attack
I woke at dawn, shuffling a little in the blanket that had been draped over me. The ocean was a reflected canvas of pinks and reds, making all breath escape from my chest. It was such a pretty sight.
An even prettier sight was Lloyd, sitting atop the sculpted dragon head at the front of the ship. Cross legged and back to me, I tilted my head to the side. Was he meditating? It would be the perfect time and place. So silent, so peaceful. Even the temperature was perfect. Except-
I slowly stood with a stifled yawn, pulling the blanket tighter around myself before pausing in confusion. When did I get a blanket? I didn't fall asleep with one. Somebody must've grabbed one for me while I was still asleep. My gaze flickered to Lloyd. Wow. What an absolute sweetheart. How dare he. Actually, ouch. My back ached. Sitting against the wall wasn't the best place to sleep. I feel like I should've known that. I crept closer to Lloyd, not wanting to break the silence but wanting to be close. I was sure that I was totally quiet but that didn't keep Lloyd from noticing me.
"Good morning," he said out to the ocean, directed at me. I jumped, not expecting him to talk. "O- oh," I stammered, flustered at being caught. "Good morning." "How was your sleep?" he asked. "Good," I replied, feeling awkward. Something dipped in my gut and I felt on edge. Why was I so nervous? "Yours?" Lloyd nodded. "Good." A silence stretched on and I shifted anxiously, gulping. Lloyd's eyes opened and he turned back to face me. The gentle wind fluttered his shirt and ruffled his hair. "What's wrong?" he asked, standing atop the head. He leapt to the deck, landing silently and straightening, looking worried. "Did I make you uncomfortable last night? I'm sorry."
I flushed, thinking back to our close encounter. "No," I quickly shook my head, averting my gaze. "It's not that. I don't know, it's just..." He tilted his head, waiting. "Emotions are a mess," I huffed a chuckle, clutching my stomach with tense fingers. The hairs on the back of my neck stood. The sails rustled. "I'm not sure if it's just me or... but something... feels wrong." Lloyd took my hands in his, a concerned look on his face. "You can tell me anything," he reassured. "You know that, right?" "Of course," I nodded, falling into a sheepish smile. "You'll think I'm silly-" "I won't," he silently swore. "It's- it's the wind," I finally caved, shivering as a harsh breeze cut across the deck. "It feels... off... dumb, right?"
