Something Peculiar

9

"So. . ." Tae began on the drive home. I rested my forehead against the cold glass of the car window and refused to look at him. I had barely spoken since we'd left. "What did you say to her?"

"Things," I replied vaguely.

"No, really," he pressed. "What happened?"

"I tried talking to her, she got upset." I sighed. "She said I was a monster. You know, the usual."

"I don't know why you even wanted to see her. She's a terrible person."

"Oh, she's not that bad." My breath fogged up the window, and I started drawing stars in the mist. "She's really worried about you. She's afraid I'm going to hurt you."

"That woman is insane," Taehyung scoffed. "Literally, since she lives there, but . . . you can't listen to her, Jennie. You aren't letting anything she said get to you, are you?"

"No," I lied. Pulling my sleeve up over my hand, I erased my drawings on the window and sat up straighter. "How do you know?"

"What?"

"That she's insane. That . . . I'm not a monster." I twisted my thumb ring nervously and stared at Taehyung, who just shook his head. "I'm being serious. What if I am bad?"

Taehyung suddenly put on his turn signal and pulled the car over to the shoulder. Rain pounded down on the windows as other cars sped by us on the freeway. He turned to face me completely, putting an arm across the back of my seat.

"Jennie RubyJane Kim, there is nothing bad about you. Nothing," Tahyung emphasized solemnly. "That woman is completely insane. I don't know why, but she was never a mother to you. You can't listen to her. She doesn't know  what she's talking about."

"Be serious Tae." I shook my head. "I've gotten expelled from every school I've ever gone too. I'm unruly and whiny and stubborn and so picky. I know that you and Jessica struggle with me all the time."

"That doesn't  mean you're bad. You've had a really traumatic childhood, and yeah, you're still working through some things, but you're not bad," Tae insisted. "You are a strong willed teenager who isn't afraid of anything. That's all."

"At some point that has to stop being an excuse. Sure she tried to kill me, but I have to take responsibility for who I am as a person."

"You are!" Tae said with a smile. "Since we've moved here, you have shown so much promise. Your grades are going up, and you're making friends. And even if that makes me a little uncomfortable, I know it's a good thing for you. You're growing up, Jennie, and you're going to be okay."

I nodded, unable to think od an argument for that.

"I know I don't say it enough, but I'm proud of you, and I love you." Taehyung bent over so he could kiss the top of my head. He hadn't done that since I was little, and it stirred something inside me. I closed my eyes and refused to cry. He straightened back up in his seat and looked at me seriously. "Okay? Are you okay now?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I forced a smile.

"Good." He pulled back into traffic, continuing the drive home.

As much as I inconvenienced Taehyung and Jessica, it would break their hearts if I left. Even if going with Lisa would be more promising, it would hurt them too much. Leaving would put my needs in front of theirs. So it I stayed, I put them before me.

Staying would be my only proof that I wasn't evil. When we got home, I went up to my room before Jessica could try and talk to me. My room felt too quiet, so I went over my iPod and started scrolling through songs. A light tapping sound startled me from my search, and my heart skipped a beat.