Mine

Chapter 3 - Eddie

I didn't have the energy to argue. Or the breath. So I just nodded and did what she said. I don't know how long I stayed like that, but it was long enough to get rid of my panic attack. When I lifted my head, Maddie was sitting on the ground next to me. She didn't say anything and neither did I. We sat in a comfortable silence for a while, until Maddie finally broke the silence.

"I know how you feel. How hard this is for you."

I refused to look at her. I couldn't. When it became clear that I wasn't going to answer her, she continued. "Watching someone you love laying there...you feel...helpless."

Someone you love? Did she know? She couldn't possibly know...could she?

I turned to look at her and the look in her eyes spoke volumes.

She knew. She's known for a while. And she kept my secret.

"He's going to be okay, you know?" she continued. "You know how stubborn my brother is. He's not going down without a fight," she chuckled sadly. I tried to laugh too, but it came out as more of a sob. I tried to choke it back, but ended up doing the opposite. I was sobbing uncontrollably now. She wrapped her arms around me as I lay my head on her shoulder and cried. I cried until there were no more tears left in my body.

"Thank you," I whispered to her.

"For what?"

"For being here," I paused. "For not telling anyone."

She chuckled. I sat up and looked at her. "I'm pretty sure everyone knows, Eddie."

My heart dropped to my stomach. "They do?"

"Oh yeah." She was still laughing at me. I'm glad she finds my clearly obvious feelings for her straight brother amusing. "Well, everyone except Buck." Her face turned serious now, all humor gone in an instant. "You should tell him."

It was my turn to laugh, except mine was a bitter one. "Tell him what exactly? 'Hey Buck! I know we're supposed to be best friends, but I forgot to mention that I'm in love with you?'" I shook my head.

"Eddie –"

"It doesn't matter. I may not even get the chance to tell him anything ever again."

"Don't say that." Maddie shook her head rapidly. "You can't think like that. You and I both know that miracles happen everyday."

She could have been referring to a number of things. Her surviving her abusive relationship with Doug. Chimney being stabbed. Chimney's car accident. Albert's car accident.

Me getting shot.

"That's different. He was literally struck by lightning."

"And you were literally shot," she retorted. Neither of us said anything for a while. She was first to break the silence again. "They say you should talk to coma patients. That you should encourage them to wake up. To fight."

"They also say there's no guarantee they can really hear you."

"Life is full of chances. It's your job to take them." She smiled at me before standing up and heading back inside. I thought about what she said. I wanted to tell him. God, I wanted to tell him. Tell him that I loved him. That I couldn't live without him. That I wanted nothing more than to feel his warm body pressed against mine. But I also didn't want to tell him. I was scared. Scared that he'd reject me, laugh in my face, want absolutely nothing to do with me once he finds out.

But if this was the last time I'd get to talk to him, if these were the last words he was ever going to hear from me, I had to take that risk.

I stood up, wiped the almost dried tears from my face, and walked back into the hospital, determined not to chicken out.