Maybe, probably [h.s]

Chapter 10

Fay

My head is pounding and the only thing on my mind is a cold glass of water and shower.

Getting up, I look at my reflection in the mirror. I look like hell. My hair is all over the place and I have a small amount of mascara under my eyes. I still have my clothes on from the night before as well. I gather my clothes and head to the bathroom.

I take all the necessary time to rejuvenate myself. Starting from my head and ending at my toes. I wash my hair, exfoliate, and shave. I wash my face and do each skin care step after I dry myself off. I dry my hair with my towel and slip my yellow bathing suit on, ready to just sit out today.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I see Harry on the other side of the hall.

"Good morning, Fay." He smiles at me. I don't have the same energy I normally have.

"Hello Harry." I respond, walking down the stairs and out of the sliding glass door. I take the headache relief medication, deciding reading wouldn't be the best pastime today. I hear the door open and close behind me.

"Not very talkative today?" Harry asks. I smile at him as big as my mouth will allow.

"Not particularly, no. Let this Tylenol kick in, then I'll be ready for banter." I reply. He laughs loudly and leans back in the chair.

"And before you ask, I do remember everything I said last night, I want to apologize. That's not really like me." I say more seriously. He looks at me for a moment before responding.

"You don't have to say sorry Fay. I feel like I understand a little better now, I didn't remember the whole story and now I do." I nod at this, not having much more to say.

"You want to know something?" He asks. Before I can respond, he continues talking.

"I care a lot about what people think. It's stressful, I've been like this my whole life. I wish I didn't care so much; it shouldn't even matter to me. Some of these people I'll never see again in a few months." I let him continue. "I'm envious of you. It sounds shitty to say, but I am. I know you care more than what you let on, but you still don't care as much as I do, about social standing." He finishes.

"Harry, I'm sorry you feel like you have to care so much. You're right though, in a few months, these people won't matter at all to you." I speak.

"When I'm around you, I feel like I can say whatever, you don't judge me, you don't tell anyone about our private conversations. It's like a separate life for me, a get away." He leans closer to me as he says this.

"Do you want to know something?" I decide on being honest today, after his admissions of truth.

"Anything." He speaks.

"The other night, I did mean you. Not Sam from history class." He looks at me, and then looks down. The sound of the pool fills the silence. I start to get anxious the longer he doesn't respond.

"I should tell you something then." He looks back up at me. I only nod.

"I didn't leave my phone in your room, I heard you moaning, I couldn't help myself." He admits, his cheeks and ears becoming red. I smile at him and laugh, he looks upset by this.

"What's so funny?" He asks, defensively.

"God- nothing. I'm not laughing at you, I swear it. I just find it amusing I had you so pent up, I've felt a little of the same way you could say. Maybe it's how private our time is." I answer honestly. I'm feeling better now that I know these feelings were slightly mutual.

"Pent up? What do you mean?"

"I haven't been able to stop myself. I heard you in the bathroom a few weeks back, ever since then I've had all these confusing feelings and sexual frustration, I've never had this happen before." I'm getting shy again, embarrassed that I have so little experience.

"Don't feel embarrassed by that, please. I sat outside your door and stroked my cock until I came in the front of my jeans" He laughs. I laugh along with him, finding comfort in his words. 

He doesn't say anything else; he just leans closer. This time I know, I think I know for sure he's going to kiss me. He looks to my lips and then my eyes, back down to my lips. I didn't even realize I had been holding a breath this entire time until I feel his hand on my knee.

"Fay, I'd like to kiss you" he says. Just when I think he may back out, his lips finally touch mine. It feels like nothing at first, and then he moves a little faster. I pick up on his movements and mimic him. I place my hands on the sides of his face. He deepens the kiss and moves slower with me. He faintly pulls away, nose pink and cheeks red. I climb on top of his lap, pressing my core down onto his hard cock. I grind down, trying to find some relief. This is the first time I've ever felt like this or been this worked up. Really, its the first time I've done anything like this. I hear him moan into my mouth, causing me to try to squeeze my thighs together, but he stops them. 

"We need to stop." He speaks. I quickly get off of him and smooth my hair down. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. 

"That was nice" I say. I smile at him.

He smiles back at me and goes to stand up.

"I need to get back to cleaning, we can talk more later if you'd like." He speaks. I feel a little confused why he needs to leave now but decide not to push it. It was my first kiss, a kiss like that at least. Not just a peck.

"Yeah- okay" I say quickly.

He starts to walk inside before he pauses, "you're not going to tell anyone about this, will you? Like at school?" He asks. I pause and look up at him. Feeling a little saddened, maybe a little awkward as well.

"No, Harry, I won't." I say back.

"I'm sorry, you have to understand. I don't need the rumors." I shoot my eyes back to his, looking directly in them.

I just nod. Upset, feeling as if he was mocking me and my personal experience, I explained to him last night. He walks inside without another word.