Maybe, probably [h.s]

Chapter 9

Harry

I truly shouldn't care. I'm not even sure why I do. What I do know, is Sam from Fay's history class, is a piece of shit.

I wish things were different. I wish I could openly speak about how we have private conversations, how sometimes her hands find their way to my shoulders in the last week or so. I wish I could brag about how I've seen the most private parts of her, how she moaned my name in her most vulnerable moment.

But things aren't different. Even though it was slightly thrilling and all new, the last few months of my high school career were more important to me. My social standing would crumble.

It's not like I was meant to see it anyways. Not to mention, I choked up. Her being so bold and honest, well, it freaked me out. I didn't expect her to say me. She was joking anyways, so she says. Maybe, she probably was. It wouldn't explain to first time, unless she heard my bathroom escape. Maybe she was teasing me?

"Styles, you going to kick ass tonight?" I hear Niall's voice behind me.

"Don't I always?" I smugly respond. The match was tonight. We'd have a few more before the season was over, our final season. Prom would come before I know it, school would be done, I'd be off to college. Lately, with Fay's advice, I had been considering other options for myself and my future. I didn't want to put all my eggs into one basket, that's what she'd tell me. She'd remind me that I can do as I please, that I was an adult now. Although it was nice to hear, she was the only one saying it.

The Friday goes by quickly, the match would be starting soon. I started to wonder if Fay would come, she normally didn't, though.

As my thoughts circle around, I see her walk in with Carmine. They are laughing at something. I enjoyed seeing her with someone kind. They walk up in the bleachers and take their seat, waiting for the game to start. We begin our warm ups.

"Go Styles!" Coach yells. Score. That's the game.

The boys and myself are cheering, jumping up and down. I see Fay and Carmine clapping and smiling at us. I meet her eyes and smile. She smiles back, but we say nothing more. With it being Friday, I'll stay the weekend at her house. I've been good at saving my earnings from this job.

Leaving the field, I make my way to her house. I pull in the driveway and notice she isn't here. I send her a message asking if I'm able to go in, she sends back a yes.

Walking in, I begin cleaning and doing my laundry for the weekend. When I hear the door open a few hours later, I'm surprised.

"Harry! I'm so sorry, was busy." She slurs. I get a closer look, she is visibly drunk.

"Who were you with, where were you?" I ask, a little more frantic than I would have liked to sound.

"Oh, does Harry Styles think I'm too much of a loser to have a friend?" She slurs.

"Wha- no! I don't think that at all Fay!" I shout.

"You don't even talk to me at school. I only have the pleasure of knowing you behind these walls." She motions to the walls around us. I shake my head and continue cleaning. She walks over the couch, she sits down, still a drink in her hand.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked me."

"Ask you what?" I respond.

"Why the whole school hates me." She looks sad as she says this. I guess I hadn't though to ask her. I just always heard random stories and tales of Fay Beck. There was never a true reason behind anyways distaste. The stories weren't even bad, just personal.

"I just didn't think to ask." I say.

"Well, there was a boy. It was freshman year, he was three years older than us. Liam Payne, do you remember?" She asks me. As she says his name, bits and pieces of the story come back to me. I don't get to answer though, she continues.

"He thought I was so smart. He even said I was beautiful. I liked him, I liked him so much." She slurs and continues. "Even though he knew I was smart, I guess he thought I was more naive. He wanted to have sex, I didn't want to. I told him no. He wasn't that affected by it, he had others on the back burner. One of those being Amber, from our grade now. She walked in on him feeling me up, before I could explain, she started spreading rumors as fast as she could." She stops now, not crying or even looking upset, just explains.

She continues, "She was always more popular than me. She cared more about her looks and social standing. I wanted a way out of this town, looks wasn't and still won't get me there" She finishes her story.

"I'm sorry that happened to you." I say. She gives me a genuine smile. She doesn't look upset or anything, it almost looks as if she's relieved.

"Don't be sorry. Thanks for letting me tell the story as it went, I never thought a stupid rumor could do so much damage!" She laughs. "It doesn't even bother me. People talk about my skirts and my shoes, I just don't mind." She's still giggling at herself.

I admire her, really. Sometimes, I feel as if I could say anything to her. She would never judge, nor would she ever tell.

"I'm sorry I came in here so drunk, I was out with Carmine." She looks happy as she tells me this.

"I was just a little worried, that's all. Your mother never said I needed to look after you, but I imagine she'd appreciate it." She just stares at me, and nods. She gets up off the couch and goes to walk up the stairs. She tells me goodnight and shuts her door.