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*04:35*

Papers are scattered across my desk and I am only now realising how inefficient this is for my working. Lists are taped to the walls and ends of shelves, scrap pieces of paper litter the floor with scribbles of math equations and chemistry formulas, textbooks are piled in messily assembled towers - Grace will make fun of me in the morning if I leave it like this. But oh well, a messy work space shows that hard work is being done, right ?

I have been up for 6 hours now, but my notes make it look as if I have been working for only minutes. The words for my draft are not making sense anymore, no matter how I structure them. Social Media is becoming more addictive in recent years. Social Media is negatively affecting teenagers now more than ever. Students suffering from Social Media Saddens the Soul. Gahh. It does not even look like words anymore.

The lamp shining just to the left of me is becoming both blinding and bleaker all at once. I gaze into the artificial brightness and not surprisingly, my eyes still hurt as if I am looking at the sun. But maybe that has more to do with the lack of sleep than the brightness. Maybe I should just stop looking at the lamp.

I spin in my chair and role towards the window, pulling back the curtain only a fraction. I stare back at the faded version of myself - she looks more like a mess than hot. I slowly scan the greyness outside, trying to focus on something other than my own matted appearance. After a while I give up, slumping back into the squeaky roller chair that is slowly becoming the most comfortable thing on this earth.

The sun has started to rise later and later in these last few weeks I have noticed. Standing up, I think of the days when I would see the sun come up in my late night/early morning study sessions and I think of how it used to almost make me thankful for being up so early/late. The change from darkness, to blue, with the touches of yellow and orange streaking the sky - it was like a work of art being painted right in front of me.

Getting up, I switch off the lamp on my way past, pressing the flashlight button on my phone before the darkness envelops me and makes me walk into a wall.

A few hours will be enough I tell myself as I slip into my room. It will only be like this for a few more weeks I think as I close the door. And then, four week holiday I remind myself, almost smiling as I pull the sheets almost up over my head.