Solitude: Alone, Together

Chapter 9

That evening at dinner Sil and Selea sat quietly across from each other. It wasn't abnormal for them. They'd both grown accustomed to it in the City. Another one of their acts of 'solitude' - being together yet alone. Giving each other space to think while still enjoying the company of the other.

She was deep in thought about her conversation with Val when he spoke up.

"So you enjoyed your visit?"

"I did. I was just thinking about it. It was nice."

"Do you miss the company of others?"

"What exactly are you asking, Sil?"

"There is no other meaning behind the words than the one they present. Do you miss keeping company with others?"

"Others—other than you, you mean. No. I mean, it was nice to visit with Val. And perhaps it says something about what a hermit I've become, but after years of traveling around in caravans and on ships and constant company of others—no, I don't think I miss it."

He nodded and continued to eat. They were both deep into thought and their own meals again when he spoke again. "It has been many, many years since I expressed my love towards anyone, in words at least."

She put down her fork. "You were listening to my conversation with Val."

"I regret overhearing, only because it became a private matter very quickly, and because I am sure that makes you uncomfortable. But at the same time I do not regret overhearing, because it revealed a truth to me I had not discovered on my own."

"That I—that I love you?"

"No—that I love you."

"Wh-what?"

"I love you, Selea. And I regret that I had not said those words to you before. While your answer was beautiful and expressed the amount of care I do have for you and the decision I have made to be here with you. I'm glad you see in my actions how much I care. But I regret that you were not able to first say a confident 'yes' when asked such a question of our relationship. I have failed in that regard, but no more."

"Well—I—I'm not sure what to say. Other than—I love you, too, Sil."

"I am happy to spend the rest of my days with you, Selea."

She smiled. "As am I."

****

The next morning Selea was walking down the hallway from her room and glanced into the open doorway of Sil's room to find him staring at several sets of clothing laid out on his bed. He wore his robes, as always. She knew that because of the powers he still held, he didn't need to sleep and rarely made use of the bed, or the room, so she was surprised to find him in it at all, much less doing something so—mundane.

"Sil?"

He turned, a perplexed stare on his face. "How does one choose the most appropriate clothing when either of two choices would be adequate for ones needs?"

She chuckled. "Sil, you have never worn anything other than your white robes with your blue sash. Not a single day in the time I've known you. What could possibly be making you reconsider that now?"

He frowned and looked down at the robes, waving his hand towards what she now recognized as dirt stains on the front where she guessed his knees were.

She held back a chuckle. "Sil, you have worked with oily machines and around dirt for quite some time, I am certain you have gotten stains on your robes before. I would imagine you just blinked them out of existence. What stops you now?"

He interlaced his fingers in front of him. "I no longer find such action adequate. While I may still contain the power to do such things, I no longer find it satisfactory to do those things unless necessary. It feels like a flagrant use of powers that I, in many ways, am actively choosing to reject. How can I reject my godhood, declare a completion to the greater purpose of my divine powers, and yet still use them to clean up stains? If I am seeking to live a more mundane and mortal life, then I should start acting like it."

Selea blinked, a bit shocked at his sudden declaration. He'd never outright spoken his deeper thoughts in such a way.

"So, I ask again, how does one choose when either of your choices would be adequate?"

"Based on preference I suppose."

"I haven't had to consider a preference for clothing in near a millennium, how would I make that choice now? No, instead, I think that you should choose."

"Me?"

"Yes, you are the one who will see me in the clothing, so you choose something you prefer."

She looked back down at the clothing. "Where did you get these?"

He sighed. "Equally frustrating. With no source for clothing within the Villa, I considered what I had seen citizens of Clockwork City wearing before we left."

She shook her head and smiled. "And blinked them into existence."

"Essentially, yes."

"If you truly do want to do this the 'mundane' and 'mortal' way, then let me take care of it. I'll make you something."

"You will?"

"Of course. These choices aren't appropriate for you, in style or color. Would they be adequate, yes. But not flattering or appropriate when considered in terms of your being a Dark Elf, being as incredibly tall as you are, or the work you prefer. No, these will not do. Snap them right back out of existence and leave it to me. I have every material imaginable downstairs in my workshop and a clothing station that I haven't had the chance to use since we arrived. I'll give you some options to choose from, and you can try them on in private. You might be surprised to find that you really do have a style preference once you try something on."

He reached out and took her hand firmly in his, tugging her closer. She allowed him to pull her all the way in to his arms and held her close, his metal hand holding her head close to his chest. "The deep love and care you show for me every day is astounding, Selea. Thank you."

"You may change your mind when you see the clothes I tailor." He let out a single chuckle that made her smile. It was so rare that such emotions bubbled to the surface for Sil, and to be the one to cause it made her elated. She pulled back a bit and tugged at the collar of her own jerkin. "It's been a while since I tried my hand at tailoring. Now that I think about it though, the idea excites me. It's been some time since I made myself anything, either."

He gave her a small smile. "I will await your work with much anticipation."