Solitude: Alone, Together

Chapter 12

Later that evening, Selea stood on the balcony off her bedroom. She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes, listening to the wind blowing through the trees, the water lapping at the shore. She missed the Observatory, the Clockwork City, and for the briefest of moments, it's creator. But as she heard the door close behind her she smiled just before she felt his one metallic and one flesh arm wrap around her waist.

"All secure?" she said with a detectable sigh.

"Your reaction gives away that you are less than pleased with my desire to ensure our continued safety," he said in a smooth, monotone, and singular voice. The 'echo' had disappeared along with his powers. She found his own voice to be beautiful.

"I understand it. I appreciate it. At the moment however," she said as she snuggled into him. "I appreciate this even more."

"Indeed," he stated.

She chuckled. "Indeed." She turned in his embrace and looked up at him. He'd stopped wearing his helmet soon after they'd come to Artaeum, and she still loved seeing his whole face, loved his long white hair. "How are you feeling?"

"About being mortal?" He sighed. "Everything is different now. The way I feel things, sense things, process things. It was most disconcerting at first to suddenly not be able to sense the life around me. To not... know. I'm still... me... but I already sense the change occurring within me. Control is no longer within my grasp, and my first concern is that I can no longer keep you safe, Selea. I know—Artaeum is safe, and Valsarenn would let us know at the first sign of trouble. But, I am grasping for control where I can find it. And ensuring the outer doors of the Villa are secure before retiring for the evening is one simplistic way I can feel as though I am still protecting you. I was once able to offer you a security that I was certain of. My certainty has been taken away. I once envied the ability to doubt. Now, I despise it."

"Mortality and Immortality have equal struggles, though one always envies the other."

"Precisely. And I feel inadequate in what I offer you now, Selea. I can no longer offer you the security and safety I once did."

"Perhaps not. But do you know what type of safety and security you now offer?"

"What?"

"This," she said as she squeezed his waist tighter. "Your arms. From that moment after you first transported us to Artaeum, you put your arms around me and held me. Ever since then I have felt a different type of safety."

He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers, taking in a deep breath. "I find it quite comforting as well."

"Good. So... retiring for the night. Does it feel terribly odd to feel tired for the first time in—however long?"

"Just one of the many disconcerting feelings I am processing."

"And this... this is how you wish to spend your evening of rest, of sleep?"

"With you?" She nodded, and he returned the gesture. "I am familiar with sleeping for one, perhaps two hours at a time. It was all that was needed on occasion. I find the thought of attempting to sleep for an extended period of time without you in my presence to be... disturbing." He leaned back and looked at her carefully. "I apologize for being so needy of your attention during this time, Selea."

"Sil," she said softly, reaching up to rest her palm against his cheek. "I promised you the rest of my life, didn't I?"

He nodded, "As did I, you. I believe your words were, '"Grow old together. Allow old age to overtake us in some villa along the shores of Artaeum. Tinkering away till we fall into eternal slumber sitting at our workbenches."

"Even in your mortality, you still quote my words from years ago."

"They were precious words to me, Selea, even then when I perhaps couldn't grasp how to return the gesture."

"Sil," she said with a sigh. "It would be my honor to be by your side in the night as well as in the day, my beloved Sil."

He smiled at her use of the endearment he'd first heard her use in his thoughts, when he'd showed her his possible death to Amalexia. And so, he took her hand and led her back into the house where they would grow old. Together.