Sleeping in peace

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by mySUGAcoochie

by mySUGAcoochie

I tried to live a righteous life. An honest one. Be someone, create something I could be proud of. I didn't want to be like the rest. Together we changed the world. But why do I feel no different. Why do I feel so... empty. It'll go away right? It must go away. I'm making money, I'm making smiles, I'm making music. Its what I've always wanted to do. I dedicated my life to it so WHY?!
What the fuck is happening. Smiling, laughing, dancing, prancing my fucking ass away and nothing feels different. I thought I'd be happier but why do I feel longer than ever. I'm around people 24/7 but why do I feel like I'm in a cold dark room by myself. I thought this was what I wanted? So what the fuck do I actually want?

Tired

I'm so tired.

I'm so fucking tired.

I haven't slept in days.

Why can't I sleep? Is there actually something wrong with me? Who wouldn't be happy if they were me. Am I crazy?

Maybe if I take this medication again I'll sleep better this time.

Just a little more that before. Maybe the whole bottle...

The whole bottle doesn't sound too bad at all.
Let's down it all.

But why does it hurt? Wait what's happening. Why are my hands shaking. My tummy is twisting.

I feel sick.
What to do? I don't know what's happening.

Help! I should get help.

*ring*... *ring*... *ring*
... "hello? Moonbin"
"Bin?"

I feel sleepy.
"Moonbin?!"

Finally some sleep.

"Hey Moonbin! What's wrong?!"

It's so cold...

—————
20 mins later
*bang bang bang*
Moonbin! Open the door!
*jingle jingle* fuck! What the fuck Bin!
*bam!*
Moonbin!
Where are you?
Moonbi-

No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No

Nononoooo

Moonbin don't do this to me!
Bin!
Fuck!

*ring*... *ring*...
"112, what's your emergency?"
Help... please help him.

This is just a short story. I don't know why I wrote it. There is no purpose behind it but to simply comfort myself and aid my own self in understanding this situation. This probably won't help anyone. But I wrote this for me. My heart is currently breaking and I feel lost. I wrote this in order to redirect my mind and tell myself that it was okay and try to understand what his feelings were. I hope I don't get bashed too hard for this.

#weloveyoumoonbin❤️‍🩹🕊️