( 18+)
"You've been avoiding me." I whispered, softly. "Why?"
His stare was fixated on me, he was focusing on my chest heaving up and down. His fingers dug even deeper against my hips, he was fighting every instinct in his body.
"I'm afraid I might...
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I stirred out of bed drenched in my own sweat, my knees pulled to my chest as my breathing deepened. I was trapped under a man again but this time it felt too real, these weren't nightmares, they were memories. There was something missing in my life, I could feel the empty void in my heart. Someone meant something to me and I can't remember them, all I have is this heart-shaped locket.
Unworthy whore, I shook my head before forcing myself to stand up. It was still pitch black outside, I've only been asleep for a couple of hours. I reached behind to unclip my hair allowing it to drape over my shoulders, my chin leaned against my knees. I was starting to give up and force myself to sleep when I heard the sound of the tv playing downstairs, curiosity filled me.
I open my door quietly before walking downstairs, I stood at the entrance of the living room where the tv was playing on maximum volume. It wasn't a movie but instead a homemade video, I could see the date on the bottom right.
Alistair was sitting on the couch right in front of the tv, his shirt was unbuttoned, his cuffs were rolled up to his forearm and his tie loosely hung around his neck. There was a half-empty bottle of bourbon in his hand, which he brought to his lips taking a huge chug of it.
I turned my attention back to the tv, the video was of a woman lying in a hospital bed with some sort of breathing device in her hand and her other hand touched her pregnant belly. She had short brown hair, her eyes were hazel yet leaked of a certain loss and sadness. She smiled but there wasn't anything there, you could see it as clear as water.
She looked at the camera, she pulled the oxygen thing out from her mouth. "No one will ever know the strength of my love for you and I don't who you'll be, but all I know is that I'll love every version of you all the same, the good and the bad."
Tears gathered around her eyes, the man on the other side swiftly touched her cheek trying to comfort her. The video started fast-forwarding through the conversations till it stopped, she was in a lot of pain as her head thrash backward against the pillow. All I could hear was the doctor telling her to push, she was dripping with sweat clearly unable to.
"I need Nathaniel, please." The woman sobbed, her cries were horrible and so strong that I was shocked the walls didn't shake. She continued to sob that name over and over again, she didn't stop screaming that name till she had finally delivered her baby.
The video paused right on the woman's face, and I could finally breathe again. That was filled with so many emotions, and all I could think about is how anyone can't hate themselves after that. Alistair took another sip of the bourbon not even flinching at the harsh taste, he glanced back at me with his very enlarged pupils, he wasn't just drunk, he was high.
He turned back around to face the tv, his other hand ran across his face. "My father was a despicable, hateful man, and that's what killed him."
I couldn't respond to that, there weren't enough words to pick from to try and comfort him after that sentence.
