HE BROKE ME FIRST

WELCOME HOME

Today I went to get tested to see if I was drugged when my wife gave birth to our kids. The results said I was drugged, and I was able to go home and be with my family again. What bothered me is Jessy wasn't the same Jessy after what I did to her. I can't blame her because it was my fault at the same time, I forgot the baby bag in the car. I went back to get it and that's when I felt a sharp prick in my neck. I just wanted to get back to my wife and this happened to me. My wife is distant from me and won't look at me. I give her some more time and space. I don't want to lose my family. I call David to come to pick me up, and I will explain everything when we get home. But right now I can't be here knowing I caused a lot of pain. When David got here, I just got into the car and stared out the window in my thoughts. We made it to the house and I went to my room and opened a bottle of vodka. My brother knocked on the door to check on me and see why I left Hope's house.
"Hey, bro, what's the matter?" David asked,
"Hey, David, my wife is scared of me," I said,
"I don't think she's scared of you, I think she's scared that you would leave her for a better woman than her," David said
"I don't want anyone else but Jessy. How can I make this right?" I asked,
"Just give her time, bro, and let her clear her head," David said,
"Okay, I just don't want to lose my family, bro," I said,
"I know, bro, everything will be okay," David said
Then he left my room. I laid down and looked at my family photos of Jessy smiling and everyone was happy. Cried like a baby because I think I lost my family. I just want my family back together and happy again. This isn't a welcome-home party, this is a welcome-to-your-hell party. I need to fix this before it gets worse, and I can't let that happen. I went to the gym and worked out while I thought about how I can fix my marriage with my wife. Jessy and our kids are my worlds, and I need them in my life. After I was done working out, I went to my room and took a shower to relax my mind. I finally got out of the shower and went to bed because I'm drained from the day I had.
"Dean, time to get up," David said,
"David let me sleep in for God's sake," Dean said,
"No, Dean now gets up, or I will make you get up my way," David said,
"Fine, I'm up," Dean said
I got out of bed and got ready for the day. Jessy wasn't next to me. I have to make things right today. I'm going crazy without my family. I headed downstairs and made myself some coffee to wake up some more. How can I explain that I'm a recovering sex addict and I relapse because I was drugged? I don't think Jessy will believe me on this, but I know she will believe my brother if he was with me today when I explained what was going on with me. Jessy is very understanding until she's double-crossed.
"Today we are going over to Hope's house to explain what's going on with you," David said,
"David, what if they don't believe me?" Dean asked,
"That's why I'm going to be there with you," David said,
"Okay, I can do this, and hopefully they understand," Dean said
We drink our coffee and head out to Hope's house to explain. I'm so scared that I lost my family. But I have to keep positive and know I can fix this, even if I have to go to rehab I will do it to get my family back.
"Good morning Hope," Dean said
"Morning Dean," Hope said,
"Good morning everyone," David said,
"Today we are here to explain what's going on with Dean and why he wasn't himself for a couple of days," David said,
"I would like to know that myself," Jessy said,
"I'm a recovering sex addicted that lost control after that injection the nurse gave me," Dean said,
"Why didn't you tell me I could have helped you?" Jessy asked,
"Jessy, I was scared that you would leave me and I felt like I had to do this on my own," Dean said
"Dean, I didn't marry you to be on your own. We are a team. I'm here to help you, whether you like it or not." Jessy said,
"Please don't ever hide something like this from me ever again, understand?" Jessy asked,
"Yes, I understand Jessy, and thank you," Dean said,
"No need to thank me, Dean, just talk to me whenever," Jessy said,
"Now that's clear, he can come back home," David asked
I was the happiest man ever alive. I got my family back and the weight of the world is off my shoulders. I feel like I'm finally home again and not a ghost shell. Jessy finally let me come back home, and I'm thankful for her giving me the chance to explain what was going on. I know I want to do better by Jessy, And I will for our family. Jessy even wants me to go to rehab, which I think is a good idea, too. I want to better myself and have control over my addiction again. I don't like this side of me where I can't control it.
"David, do you think you can get me into rehab?" Dean asked,
"I can see what I can do, Dean, but are you sure?" David said,
"Yes I'm sure David, I want control over my addiction again, I can't keep hurting the people I love in this world," Dean said,
"Okay, Dean, I'll look into some places for you," David said
Today I was having a good day with Jessy and the kids. I didn't want it to end, but I have to get better and fight for us. I have to be strong for us. I think I'm doing the right thing and going to rehab. Life is too short to let addiction take over my life and marriage. We were happy once, and I will get that back again.