TRAPPED

I am alive, TW

Hello author here! 🤗

I have not stopped writing. I plan to write more. I was gonna post the new chapter on AO3. However, my mental health was like nope.

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--TW--TW--TW--TW--TW--TW--TW--TW--

I tried to commit suicide or thought of it. I was so close, but I just couldn't. I hesitated. In that second of hesitation, I saw that my brother sent a text of my nephew and niece playing. I just couldn't even imagine the explanation they would give to them. I wasn't sure how my family would even explain it anyone. In that second, I could see the faces they would make at me if they knew, knew how close I was. They might have been upset, confused, saddened, disappointed, and so many other emotions. I won't lie and say I am doing because I'm not. I am not doing better, I have tried and tried over and over again to just stop feeling like a disappointment, a lump of coal, something other than shit. Honestly, nothing has worked. My goal for right now is to finish the fucking story. Finish it because I know what it is like to read a story and see that at the end, the author either gave up or died. I don't want to be that author. I have just lost my passion. I want this passion back. I want to be able to finish this story and say I did it. Be happy for myself. But my mind is my enemy, and it almost won. I will try my hardest, but this is my hardest. I know that some of you just exit off if it isn't a chapter update, and that is okay.

Thank you to everyone who actually read this. If any of you are struggling like I am, please reach out to me. I know that I am not doing better, but I do know that having someone who can listen to you can make you feel I tiny bit better.

Againplease do not stay in the dark. It is scary, but I am still in it. It is rough. Every second that goes by, there is just a button that I can push to end me. I don't want to give up just yet, so please stay with me.

Thank you to all of my readers, commenters, and people who vote. Every single one of you matters.

💜🐍