Story time One shots

Two Clever Uncles Rampaging to the Beat

Nadine Parker looked at the tattered blade in her hands and felt confident.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her deprived surroundings. She had always loved rural Cambridge with its puny, purring parks. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel confident.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of James Wishmonger. James was a virtuous author with squat abs and sloppy feet.

Nadine gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a tactless, thoughtless, cocoa drinker with spiky abs and brown feet. Her friends saw her as a graceful, gentle god. Once, she had even jumped into a river and saved a mighty toddler.

But not even a tactless person who had once jumped into a river and saved a mighty toddler, was prepared for what James had in store today.

The hail pounded like rampaging owls, making Nadine anxious.

As Nadine stepped outside and James came closer, she could see the misty glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want love," James bellowed, in a stable tone. He slammed his fist against Nadine's chest, with the force of 504 mice. "I frigging love you, Nadine Parker."

Nadine looked back, even more anxious and still fingering the tattered blade. "James, hands up or I'll shoot," she replied.

They looked at each other with angry feelings, like two homely, healthy horses sitting at a very controlling bar mitzvah, which had piano music playing in the background and two clever uncles rampaging to the beat.

Nadine regarded James's squat abs and sloppy feet. She held out her hand. "Let's not fight," she whispered, gently.

"Hmph," pondered James.

"Please?" begged Nadine with puppy dog eyes.

James looked worried, his body blushing like a tasty, thoughtful torch.

Then James came inside for a nice mug of cocoa.

THE END

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