Where hands touch- aftermath

Three

Lutz smiled the next morning when he woke beside Leyna, her face towards his. He smoothed her hair behind her ear and looked at her. Everything about her was simply beautiful.

A small whimper from the cradle made his lips turn into a smile as he got up and walked over to where his daughter was staring at him with wide blue eyes.

"Why, hello there, love," he whispered as he took her and held her to his bare chest.

She giggled against his chest as she made a sucking noise on his chest.

"Yeah, just me and you," Lutz whispered as he bounced her up and down against his chest.

*~*~*~*

A year ago, as he spotted Leyna in the crowd of women at the camp, he feared she'd be gone forever- her and their child.

And when he awoke a month later in the infirmary in Frankfurt, the remaining German Nazis not emancipated told him that Leyna and the child were dead. And, even though they'd lied, the Nazis didn't feel remorseful towards the seventeen year old boy.

A year ago, he'd mourned their deaths by drinking whiskey and smoking cigarettes with the Nazis. He'd disobeyed the American soldiers stationed to watch over the people at Frankfurt's infirmary and was sent to isolation for ten months. His father didn't come until the next spring.

But, now, here he was, sitting on the floor of Leyna's bedroom, Marisol, their child, in his lap and he was happy; singing the song that often reminded him of the happiness he felt before everything fell apart.

"Let's Call a Heart a Heart" played over and over in his head day after day. It was the only thing keeping him sane in isolation.

Isolation was troublesome. No bed, no shower or toilet. Food was sparse, although he received the occasional moldy bread and mushy oatmeal. He was severely underweight and sickly most of the time. He barely slept; he couldn't with all the nightmares.

Every nightmare, the same. Plagued by deaths and suffering, he'd wake to sweat-drenched clothes and be unable to speak or sleep.

He was happy to not be there anymore. He was a free man. He was home.

Leyna and Koen's step-father smiled pleasantly at Lutz when he came down the stairs and rambled through the fridge.

He was looking for something pleasant. Something other than the warm oatmeal on the stove and the toasted bread in the toaster.

"Want this?" A ball of cheddar cheese was tossed his way and he smiled appreciatively at him.

"Thanks," he said.

The man nodded. "You can call me Ben. I have to go to work in a few moments, but Kerstin left oatmeal on the stove and toast in the toaster if Leyna and Koen are hungry. There's already a bottle of milk in the fridge for Marisol. Have a nice day." And with that, Ben walked out of the door, and the elevator could be heard descending downstairs.

Lutz watched him walk the few blocks to the hospital.

"He takes the morning and night shifts at the hospital, which pays good. Enough to find you and Leyna a house," a voice sounded behind him.

He turned to find Kerstin stirring the oatmeal. Her once-blonde hair was tied up into a graying bun; she seemed tired of fighting to live.

"What are you talking about?" Lutz questioned.

Kerstin smiled a faraway smile, her eyes glossed over with confusion.

"I won't be here much longer. Ben has already agreed to take Koen to my sister when the time comes. He'll find a house for you and Leyna. Give him the spare room if you can. I wouldn't want him staying on the streets," she said.

"Kerstin... how long have you planned this out?"

She smiled at him before turning the stove off.

"Since Leyna was reunited with me. I, um, am plagued by thoughts of my family being sentenced to death for my wrong-doings. I can't live with the shame anymore, and the fear, it eats me alive everyday," she whispered.

"Pack your bags, Lutz, and leave. Tonight. I'll be in the garage, in Ben's fancy American car. Don't come looking for me. This is the way I want to go. Please, for your sake, don't tell Leyna or Koen about this. I know where I'm going. I've a place reserved in Hell. Just a matter of going out that scares me a little..." she said.

He was taken aback. He'd never seen or heard of anyone committing such a thing, suicide. She'd planned to be dead by midnight, he reasoned. There was no talking her out of it.

"Wrong-doings? Kerstin, what is it? What's plaguing you?" he demanded, taking her hand and pulling her away from the stove.

She looked at him, tears pooling in her eyes, then screamed. She continued screaming at nothing until the screams subsided into choked sobs.

"Koen.. he was not a product of love. Leyna was, but Koen.. he was a product of hatred and force. When I found out I was having a child of rape, I tried an illegal abortion. It didn't work. The woman who performed it was arrested a day after he was born. She.. she told me that the child would not survive, that they'd never succeed. Koen, he's succeeded. He's a handsome young fellow, bright and cheerful. But his father, his father was a bad man. He sentenced millions of Jews to death."

"Adolf Hitler is Koen's father?" he asked.

Kerstin nodded. "You mustn't tell anyone, Lutz! Bitte. Ich bitte Sie. Die Scham ist schon zu viel zu entblößen. Sorgen Sie dafür, dass Koen heute Nacht zum Haus meiner Schwester geschickt wird."

Lutz nodded. "Du hast mein Wort," he replied.

Kerstin smiled then scribbled on a paper.

"Here is the address of my sister. She lives not a few blocks from here. Give the signal for Ben to exit the building and he'll find you a house to stay at. Most of these are abandoned. Promise me that my children will be safe!"

Lutz nodded and hugged her. "You've become like a mother to me, Kerstin. I assure you, everything will be okay."

~~~

Later in the night, the garage filled with chemicals and a small scream left Kerstin's lungs as she succumbed to the chemicals and her heart stopped.

Lutz grabbed Marisol, wrapped in her blanket with her face covered, and covered his own face with a rag as Leyna followed close behind with the bags in her hands and Koen close on her heels.

Their faces were covered as they blindly walked away from the building. The fog of chemicals seeped through the garage and got in their eyes.

They breathed heavily as they left the building and entered the street.

Ben ushered Koen away to his sister-in-laws house, then followed Lutz to the house on the end of the road.

"We'll bunker down here for a while. We'll be okay. Go to sleep."

~*~*~*

And, if for a few years, they were safely tucked away in the wooden house in Berlin.

Not a day went by that Leyna didn't remember her mother, or her little brother that she chose to forget.

Ben eventually died from old age, reuniting with Kerstin.

Koen became a top general for the American army, even though he was pure German. He got to meet JFK before his death. He moved to America at the age of nineteen where he joined the army, where he emancipated the last of the Nazis. He was happy.

As for Lutz Weissmuller, he and Leyna eventually married and settled into the house. They watched Marisol grow and had another daughter, Margot, who both were their joys.

The war left an outstanding legacy on Germany and the world as a whole, but no one ever forgot the horrors of war.

In the end, this book has a happy ending. Koen is safely living with his aunt, his mother finally got her peace she sought for most of her life, and Leyna and Lutz ended their lives together with their two daughters.

The End (Das Ende)