Matts P.O.V
I can't believe he would do that. I can't believe he would hurt me like that. I can't believe he would cheat on me.
Our relationship was just starting to go somewhere. I moved to fucking London for him. And this is how he repays me. By cheating!
I ran from our flat after watching him and louis make out. Tears rolled down my cheeks, the rain thundered on my back. I ran and ran and ran. I didn't stop until the sobs completely overtook my body and by that time i was far from the flat. Far from anywhere actually. I sat there in the middle of a field the rain crashing against my bare skin, sobs erupting from my mouth so often that i could barely breath. I carried on crying as the wind blew me onto my side. I curled into a ball knees to my chest, arms wrapped around my knees, head buried into my knees. As slowly the loss of breath took over and forced me into darkness.
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I awoke and could hear the sound of the rain pounding on the windshield. When had i gotten into a car? Slowly i opened my right eye into a slight slit and looked over to the drivers side. There sat a boy with blonde hair in a quiff, blue endless orbs. There sat Niall. I opened my eyes properly.
I cleared my throat letting him know i was awake. He looked over at me before looking back at the road. "Wha-whe-who-how?" I was lost for words i had no idea which question to ask first.
"You ran past me on your way to that field. I followed you and watched you cry yourself to sleep." He spoke as if every word he said could set off a bomb. Could set of me. "I ran back to my car and pulled you in. What happened."
Slowly as he spoke i remembered. Flash after flash of images of what happened appeared in my head. Walking into the flat. Calling his name. Walking around each room. Opening the bedroom door. Seeing louis on top of harry, harry's hand entwined in lou's hair, other on his chest. Slamming the door. Running. Crying. Dying.
"P-p-please c-can. No." I managed to stutter out as the tears pricked at the edges of my eyes. We pulled up outside the flat. I stepped out and rand to my car. I was going. Going far away. Going home. Going to my parents house.
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I pulled up outside. Stepping out i walked to the door, head hung, looking at the ground i knocked on the door. Mum answered, she was expecting my visit i had called up on my way here.
*If anyone doesn't want to read about self-harm i advise you to just stop reading. Some of this story is going to contain it starting from here.*
I stepped in and went up to my room. I walked into my room, closing the door. I walked over to my chest of draws, opening the top draw and putting my hand in the secret compartment at the top. I grabbed the pocket knife, razor and needle. 'Hello old friends' i thought to myself.
I stepped over to my bed and chose my weapon of choice. Picking up the razor, i put it to the skin on my left forearm. I dragged it across watching the red metallic liquid ooze out. Again and again and again i did this, feeling the sensation of pleasure running through my body. I sighed. That feels good. I stepped over to my chest of draws again grabbing a pen and a pad from on top writing a short letter to whoever found me.
***Dear whoever finds this,
I have just gone through the most i could go through. After years of pain and grief. I have finally gained the courage to do what i have never succeeded at. I have killed myself. If you want to know what did it. You could say it was the bully's. You could say it was those who used me as a sex toy. You could say it was the illnesses i watched my family go through. You could say it was the cheater who i fell in love with. But in fact it was this little pocket knife. The small supposedly helpful tool. Well it was helpful in suicide. (A tear slowly slid down my face and onto the paper smudging the letters). Whoever find this. I hope it's someone i loved. Harry or joe or Trisha. Anybody that i loved. Please tell harry i loved him and i always will. Forever and always...
