Natasha waits in the dark.
Sitting so still, and eyes so void of anything, that one would think she was carved of stone.
She plays it over and over in her head, remembering all the rage and frustrasion, springing out of her in words she never quite knew how to say.
Screaming through a bullhorn and down onto the crowded masses of protesters.
She had just snapped.
She didn't understand it.
She was always the cool and collected one.
She could shoot someone clean through the head without flinching, and easily ignore the thick warm scarlet that splatted over her.
She could take beatings till her vision blurred and her body went completely numb, and still laugh in her captors' faces.
She could remove a bullet with a dull, rusted pocket knife, from her abdoman without so much of a whimper.
She had done all these things dozens of times.
So why, why did this brake her?
She stared at the floor, her gaze searching for awnsers within the gleaming floorboards.
In her mental state she was half expecting a worm to crawl out from the thin crackes, lay her down on a psychiatrists chair, and ask her to start at the beginning.
Now instead of blinding rage, she felt nothing.
Like she used up her supply of humanity for the week and would have to wait for it to resore itself.
Suddenly her phone buzzed.
And she remembered that there was a world beyond this room and beyond her playedback memories.
She picked up her phone, flinching at the blazing blue light that cut through the darkness.
Her notifications showed a new message.
Wanda: Hey
Natasha: Hey
Wanda: How you holding up?
Natasha: I don't know
Wanda: Do you want to talk about it?
Natasha: I don't know what to say
Natasha: That's never happened to me before
Wanda: What do you mean by that?
Natasha: I was angry Wands
Natasha: But more than that I was scared
Natasha: I never expected it to happen like this
Wanda: What do you mean?
Natasha: I mean I didn't expect it to end like this
Natasha: I never thought that this would be the breaking point.
Natasha: I have so much blood on my hands I could fingerpqint a whole continent red. But the thing that condemned me was the fact that I'm gay? Not the deaths. Not the lies. Not the torture or apathy. But because I'm attracted to the same gender?
Natasha: I have tried so hard, so fucking hard to build a life here. Build a family. Away from the red room. And I finally found a place in the charred remains of my life. But now it's all gone. It's all fading and there's nothing I can do.
Natasha: Kind of funny isn't it? Someone whos whole life was taught and exibited apathy, finnaly done in because she found out she could love.
Natasha: It's so fucked up. Everything is so fucked up. And it's so fucking funny.
Natasha hadn't realized someone was approaching until there was a knock on the door.
When she opened the door she was greeted with a tear streaked Wanda.
She didn't say anything.
All she did was open her arms.
Natasha nodded her head as she felt a tear of her own trace and tickle her cheek.
Slowly she was wrapped in Wanda's arms, soft and warm.
And she cried.
She cried like she had never cried before.
Sobbs and whimpers filled the darkness.
Wanda lead Natasha to the bed, pulling the covers over them as Natasha sobbed into the crook of her neck.
She held her as close as she could.
Suddenly filled with the need to protect her.
To make sure all she ever did was smile and laugh.
Make her feel warm and comfortable and loved.
She closed her eyes then.
Tears running down her neck.
Strong arms wrapped around her.
The usually hard and ridged ex spy soft and vulnerable against her.
And she vowed that that was what she would do, even if it killed her.
Author note:
I know its been awhile.
I explained a bit about why i havnt been updating alot on my other work ( Wandanat/scarletwidow oneshots).
Long story short im in a dark place right now.
May or may not have tried to slit my wrists recently.
But i survived.
Haha...
Mom found out.
And she laughed.
I showed her the cuts on my wrists and she fucking laughed.
But hey.
Im here now.
And i wrote more shit.
Hope you enjoy :)
- Gay peice of shit
