Chapter 13 - Mia

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We sat at the table and ate our breakfast in silence for a bit. I looked up and caught him staring at me. I smiled at him and he rested his hand on my thigh.

"How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?" he asks.

"I don't know," I say while giggling.

We finish our breakfast and start the dishes. We wash and dry everything, and he helps me put them away.

"I should probably head home," he says.

"Alright. Be safe and text me when you get home."

"I will, love."

He kisses me goodbye at the door, and I watch him until he drives away. I eventually make my way up to my room and start to watch a movie. I get a text from my mom saying that they're almost home. It's almost three.

I hear a knock on my door, and my mom walks in.

"Hey, sweetie," she says.

"Hey, mom"

"How was your sleepover with Zay?"

"It was good. He asked me to be his girlfriend," I respond. I'm smiling as I do so.

"That's awesome! I'm happy for you, honey."

"Thanks, mom."

"Hey, so what's Zay's last name?"

"Holli, why?"

"Hmm.." she trails off. "We'll talk about it after dinner, alright?"

"Okay?" With that she walks out of my room and heads downstairs to start prepping things for dinner. The whole time she's gone I can't help but think about why she wants to talk to me about Zay's last name. But then something clicks. I knew someone with a similar name when I was in the orphanage.

"Oh my God," I whisper. I run down stairs and find mom in the kitchen.

"Were you asking about his name because you knew he was from the same orphanage?" I ask her.

"I didn't want to tell you until after dinner because you were so happy just now. I didn't want it to ruin your mood."

"I'm okay, I promise. I'm just confused as to why he hasn't brought it up to me yet."

"He might not remember honey. He got adopted before you did remember? And if he does remember you, then I hope he says something soon. It stinks that you had to figure it out this way."

"Yeah it does. I'm gonna go shower. I'll be down for dinner."

"Okay, honey. I'm here if you want to talk about anything. I love you."

"I love you too, mom." I go upstairs to my room and grab some lounging clothes. I grab Zay's sweatshirt that he gave me and a pair of sweats. I spent most of the shower just standing under the hot water to relax my muscles. It really helped to be honest. I hadn't realized I was so tense beforehand. I grab my towel and dry off, and then get dressed. I look at my phone and see a text from Zay.

Zay: Hey I made it home and fell asleep. Sorry I didn't text you

Me: It's alright. Can't wait to see you tomorrow

Zay: Me too love. Have a good rest of your night. I'll text you in the morning

Me: Okay

I set my phone down and go downstairs and eat dinner with my family. Mom could tell something was going on with me but she didn't bring it up in front of Dad and Zander. After dinner we all went to the living room and played a game as a family. We played Monopoly and Mom won but I came in second. We laughed and had a great time, but I started feeling nauseous afterwards and went to my room to lay down. Within minutes I was asleep, with thoughts of Zay running through my head.

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I woke up to my alarm ringing. I really don't want to go to school and face him, but I have to. I slowly get out of bed and go to my closet. I pick out a pair of black jeans and a pink Nirvana shirt. I don't always wear band shirts, but when I do it's mostly Nirvana or Metallica.

I go to my bathroom and brush my teeth. I put my hair into a ponytail and start to head downstairs. Once I reach the bottom of the stairs, I see Zay standing in the doorway talking to my mom. I stand there almost frozen before I realize Zay was trying to talk to me.

"Good morning, beautiful. Is everything okay? You seem kind of out of it today."

"Yeah, I'm okay." I look at mom with a questioning look that says Should I do this? She nods her head at me a little bit, and that's my signal to get this over with.

"Zay, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?"

"Yeah sure."

He follows me to the kitchen and I turn on my heel to face him. I look down at my fidgeting hands and say, "Why didn't you tell me that you're the Zay from my childhood?"

He looks at me dumbfounded and starts to stutter out an answer, but I cut him off.

"You knew from the beginning who I was, but you didn't tell me," I say. "Why?"

"I wanted to, I promise. I didn't know how to bring it up or start the conversation at all. I didn't want you to hate me." He looks down at the floor.

"I don't hate you, Zay. But I am upset. It really sucks that I had to figure it out all on my own. And I'm not going to lie, I was really scared to even talk to you about it."

His looks up at me with tears in his eyes and says, "Why were you scared to tell me you knew?"

"Because I thought I was going to get angry at you. But I realize now that I'm not. I'm upset but I'll get over it. But that doesn't change the fact that you lied to me."

"I know and I'm so sorry. You don't know how badly I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to remember me so badly, but I couldn't bring myself to ruin things like that." His voice is shaky and his hands are fidgeting.

"You lying to me didn't help much though."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," I say while looking at the ground.

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because I think that we should take a break. I need to calm down and think about this before I go rushing into something."

"Oh," he says. I could see his expression change and his hands started to shake.

 He looks me in the eye for the first time since this conversation started and says, "Alright. I can understand where you're coming from." He looks down at the floor but I see a tear roll down his cheek before he could hide it.

"I am so sorry, Mia." He turns and walks towards the door. He says goodbye to my mom and heads out to his car. I watch him drive away and then I break down crying. My mom comes in and wraps her arms around me and just lets me cry.

"You don't have to go to school today. Not after all that."

"Thank you," I say. She walks me up to my room and tucks me into bed. She leaves for work, and I just lay there and stare at the ceiling for what feels like forever. I cry silently, and I don't even remember falling asleep.

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