Hearts Devoured • LT&ZM

16 || Away

I know I've said this before, but Zayn Malik wasn't hard to figure out. He definitely wore his heart on his sleeve, and he was never one to fake his emotions. He had told me about those intances when he couldn't just feel and look happy when they were doing promotions and whatever required him to do something absolutely uncool. He told me about that stint they did on the Sesame Street and true enough, when I Googled the clip, he looked terrible on the show. I asked him then, couldn't you just have faked it for a few hours? Zayn said he tried, but failed nonetheless.

That was Zayn. He hated pretending, and he told me, there were times when he felt like he had been pretending long enough. It gave me feelings of uncertainty then, specifically regarding his future with the band. I know I wasn't a fan (although I admit my feelings were starting to change considering all the exposure I've been getting the past few days), but how will the boys cope if Zayn decided to leave? It wasn't hard to get attached to them, that's for sure.

When he told me about this friend named Shahid, it made me even more nervous. Not only because my suspicions were starting to show, but because I was starting to worry that he was telling me all these secrets. Secrets I'm not sure I wanted to know, a burden I didn't want to carry. Did the other boys even know he was having these doubts? Then again, how could they not know when Zayn's distaste for most of their promo tours were that obvious? It wasn't just that Sesame Street clip, I noticed.

And now, as we sat beside each other in the middle of a lake, his arm draped over my shoulders, pulling me closer for a smooch, I didn't know exactly how to feel about things. When he kissed me, I ducked and let him catch my cheek instead. I know I'm not supposed to say no to a kiss from him (who's insane enough to do that anyway, but I am, apparently), but there was an issue here that he wasn't addressing.

"Zayn, are you planning on quitting the band?"

He froze the moment I said it. I literally felt his fingers lose all warmth as he clasped my shoulder. Zayn's posture became stiff, and his warm eyes had shot somewhere else, far away from my own. If that wasn't enough reason to confirm my suspicions, then I didn't know what was.

This romantic escapade had started pretty exciting, truth be told. I was expecting Niall to show up in the hotel lobby, but it was Zayn who arrived and whisked me away. He was so mysterious, so sexy when he showed up with this determined look on his face to sweep me off my feet. And he did. He had held my hand tightly, and was the perfect gentleman when he assisted me off the car and into the boat. It was a private cruise, he said. Just for the two of us. Hands down, he was the perfect romantic.

Then he talked about his dreams, his plans for us, including me in a future I didn't even realise was possible. Zayn made it seem so real and I wanted to believe him. And yet, there was this bubble I couldn't explain, a layer that wrapped his words that gave me the hint that there was something more than he was letting on. At first I thought it was his breakup from Perrie which clouded his eyes and induced a feeling of loneliness in his voice, but it was something else.

And it was me who popped the question because I couldn't take it anymore. Was he planning on quitting One Direction?

Zayn Malik was the definition of the perfect bad boy prince with his ruggedly good looks, his sharp features softened by pretty hazel eyes. His face betrayed to hide all the doubts he had kept for so long, and he didn't even need to answer me. Like I said, to me, he was like an open book.

"Do they even know you're thinking this way?"

Irritation flashed in his eyes, and he dropped his arm from my shoulders. "Do we have to talk about this now?"

Zayn was easy. Because now he was acting like a child. He scooted away from me and pretended to check the boat's controls. I wanted to roll my eyes. "I don't know, Zayn, why are you so defensive?"

Zayn glared at me. Yes, he actually glared at me. "I'm not. I just planned this night for us and you're blowing things out of proportion!"

I frowned at him in disbelief. "I love that you planned this out for us but you're the one who's promising me all these things, and I'm not even sure if you really want them." Believe it or not, I was calm. Zayn, however, was freaking out. "Zayn, are you even alright?"

"Don't you just want to run away with me?" he asked all of a sudden, sitting back down on the cushioned seat across me. "We can... leave. And I promise, I'll make it better. I'll..."

"Hey," I said, placing my hands on top of his. "Let's take it easy. Stop thinking." I boldly cupped his cheek with my hand. "Why are you so stressed, huh? You're making things difficult on yourself."

Zayn groaned. "I hate that I can't escape these issues." He huffed. "I have been thinking about quitting, but how can I? These are my brothers. Shahid's been telling me I deserve more, and sometimes, I believe him. And I feel so bad... I feel like I've always known I deserved more." He shook his head. "I'm so disappointed with myself. I know I've got these bad thoughts in my head. And sometimes, I feel like letting those thoughts win over." He glanced at me, and he looked so embarrassed he quickly looked away. "I know I shouldn't even have told you these things but I know if I want to share my future with you, you have to know everything about me... even my fears."

My heart fluttered at that, but his words weren't lost on me. "Zayn... don't you just want to enjoy your life with the boys right now? Your contract is about to end anyway, right? Can't you just take a break right after? It's not like you guys are writing horrible music."

"I know," Zayn sighed. "Why can't we just get married, right?"

"WHAT!" I gasped, and stomped on his foot. "You guys have got to stop marrying people! I think two in a week is enough!"

Zayn laughed. "I'm helpless if love is in the air."

"You're actually being funny, it's cute," I said, and in a flash, Zayn leaned in front of me and pressed his lips against mine. I was too stunned to even kiss back. Feeling my cheeks all warm, I drew back and tried not to giggle.

"I'm just glad you're here, Jewel," Zayn whispered, placing both his hands on my knees. "And I admit. I've been so confused lately but when I'm with you, I feel like you give me—"

"Don't say it."

"You give me direction," Zayn insisted with a snicker and it didn't take long until both of us were laughing. "It comes with the package, babe."

 "Yeah, I think it does," I said before he leaned in again for another kiss.

I went to bed with my purity still intact in the wee hours of the day, and I fell into such a deep sleep I couldn't even remember if I dreamed of anything. When I wake up hours later, I realised I was no longer in my hotel room. I look around in alarm to find myself in the middle of a bed of a much smaller but fancier sleeping quarters. Blinking, trying to make sense of my surroundings, my ears took in the distinct sound from around the area – the pressure in my ears, and without another thought, I covered my mouth with my hands.

No.

Fucking.

Way.

I was up in the air. In a plane. Or a private jet.

Hearing a toilet flush, someone emerged from what was possibly a bathroom in front of me wearing nothing but a white fluffy bathrobe. IT IS WHAT IT IS peaked from his chest. His hair disheveled from his bath, Louis' blue eyes raked over me, complete amusement on his face. "Welcome to my humble abode!"

"Did you just... kidnap me?"

Louis grinned. He walked to the closet and casually dropped the robe on the floor, baring the full swell of his bottom for me to see.  

I'm only human.

I couldn't look away.

"Do you really want me to answer that question?"