𝑳𝑰𝑴𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬

IV

Trigger Warning
Mentions of domestic violence

The day was tiring and unbelievably long in Maggie's opinion but at the end, she did survive it. That's all she really cared about, as she slammed her tired body on the fluffy mattress of her bed while Sabrina arranged her stuff neatly.

"The day was just too long and annoying, don't you think?"

"Yeah it was. But now it doesn't matter. We're having a party!"

"Hey are you going to sneak out today or what? You seem a bit too excited."

"Because I have a date tonight. Nothing serious."

"Are you joking? Why didn't you tell me about it? Who is it anyway?"

"You know that guy, from Ravenclaw? He was the reason why Sirius got injured very badly last year."

"I do remember his face I guess. But I don't really know his name."

"Oh you must remember! His name is Cameron. Last summer when we were in Washington, we found out that his family's staying at the same place as ours. So we got to spend a lot of time together."

"That's fine, but why didn't you tell me about all this?"

"Because I didn't want to share it with you until I was sure that he feels the same way for me and you look absolutely ridiculous in that nightgown."

"Well, it's a nightgown. I'm not dressing up or anything. It's SUPPOSED to look like this."

The night quickly took over the evening sky. The deep shade of crimson of the setting sun quickly changed into a stubborn indigo as the night took over.

After the evening party, she found herself huddled in her dormitory, arranging some stuff.

Sabrina had left as quickly as the sun had made it down the valley and had taken refuge behind the dark clouds of nightfall.

The feeling of being alone in the dormitory for the first time was strange as she always, always had Sabrina around. It was the first time she had snuck out for something like that.

She spotted the black diary again.
She opened it. The pages were neat but there was no name written of the owner of the diary. Neither on the outside, nor on the inside.

She quickly opened a random  page, probably it was the middle page,and began to read. Shit it was definitely someone's personal journal.

Dear Diary,

I turned thirteen today and I got a really unique gift from my father for the occasion.

The nuisance at home was unbearable today. Father got really angry with mother, to the point that he chose violence. I've never seen such fury in someone's eyes as the one I saw in father's eyes today.

Sirius and I were told to go to our rooms and we did like always. He expects us to say nothing, do nothing and just forget everything like always.

When the fight grew heated, I could hear mother shouting at him asking him to give her wand back. He told her to not shout at him but she asked again for her wand and he slapped her.

These fights between my parents, they take place very often in the house. But never has the nuisance gone this far.

Today when I saw father's fury, I actually felt terrified of him. Not that he ever makes an effort to make our home feel like home, to make living in this family feel like actually living in a family.
I cannot imagine how my mother must feel when he gets so angry.

Does he think it's a play of some sort of power, to keep us all terrified of him like this? Does it make him proud or what?

Are all fathers like this with their families? Why do people choose to have families of their own in the first place if they make them feel isolated and terrified?

I cannot obviously excuse any of the acts of my mother or my father. Both of them are terrible as parents. I know this, because no one would choose to treat their children the way they do.

I would always and forever blame my mother for following my father's footsteps and treat us the way he wants which is terrible.
Even when she has the power to stop it all, she wouldn't.

But if I have to choose between my father and my mother, I would choose my mother. It's like a choice between worst and worse. That's all.

If I was in mother's place, I would've left everything. But there's no bravery in denying the existence of the abuse that's happening to a person.

She doesn't even want to acknowledge that father is the cause of this nuisance. He needs to change not her. What sort of bravery is that? In turn she takes out all her pent up anger and frustration on her children.

The only person that makes this place a home for me, is Sirius. Without him, I'd be nowhere.

Yours Truly
R.A.B

Maggie realised in horror. She had actually managed to slip in Regulus' diary inside her bag.

Them it hit her, she might have mistakenly slipped it in after Potions. He must've left it.

What would he say? How was she supposed to return it now?
He would obviously suspect if she had read his journal or not.

He definitely had his life full of problems and reading the journal made one thing clear, that his family was toxic and wasn't helping him in any way.

She tried to put herself in his place and imagine the situation. She would've been nowhere without her siblings Lily and Petunia if her parents had been like this.

Everything would've gotten worse if her siblings had left her alone like Sirius. She had always been sympathetic inwardly towards Sirius. She had always thought that the hate he had for Regulus was justified.

But no one at all was there to comfort Regulus. No one knew his side of the story. He must've been a part of that toxic environment too and he must've felt the abuse too. No wonder he was so close to his friends than his own brother.

His cruel Slytherin gang of friends perhaps played the same role of a family for him just like James, Peter and Remus did for Sirius.

Like a weak flame of a match stick, the thought of Regulus perhaps being not as bad as the Hogwarts gossip projected him, crept in her brain and filled her with a strange airy feeling, like he was some sort of secret that no one knew about except her and it was all hers to keep.

"Wasn't it really early to call this feeling some sort of limerence?" She thought to herself.