✈ Mom, I'm trying to tell you one thing at a time. First, I ... I mean, I didn't ... saw the meteorite.
ƒ Therefore, container.
✈ Yes. I brought it ... there was a message from the ISS, I think it was a state secret ...
ƒ No, it wasn't! It's not a secret! It's on the net!
✈ Cool! When I was getting ready in the UN expert room\
ƒ What are thou an expert on? wool?
✈ (Stifles trying to ignore her and loses the thread of the conversation.) And the forest is from the grass. It's ... a little bit of it.
ƒ Therefore, completely.
✈ Shut up! Excuse me, sir ... the place that was tampered with was uninhabitable, so that's enough!
♀ So that'senough if we sell our house and all my internal organs?! At least thou didn't start a nuclear war?
ƒ Therefore, shot down an interceptor with a nuclear missile.
♀ Oh, my God!
✈ No! No, Mom, don't listen to her! First of all, it's not an interceptor, it's a fighter jet\
♀ Aah! Ugh. Well, that's a load off my mind. It's just a fighter jet. Not $33 billion, just$32 and a half. That's all I've got saved up.
✈ No, Mom, wait! It wasn't me!
♀ Of course.
ƒ Actually, it was three fighters.
♀ God ...
✈ It's an alien!
♀ No one doubted it!
✈ And he didn't tear it apart. Only the engine's ruined. Just a little bit. The pilot ...could have survived.
♀ And the plane "could" have crashed. On the city. A little bit.
✈ (Losing his temper) ... He had a toy gun, with paint on it.
♀ On a plate, right?
✈ Not the saucer, but ... but, yeah, it was a UFO. Only it was me, not the alien. He invited me in, he said\
♀ Yeah, now I'm getting the picture. So, my twenty-year-old son is a UN expert (a-paget - barely out of high school) and, at the same time, a "contactee"... who doesn't go to a non-school that is not run by a non-director non-general, having received a recommendation from an instructor\
✈ Pace-pilot! And a nomination.
♀ Okay, pace-pilot. He did\
✈"She."
♀ Never mind. After getting her paper from the non-school, a non-course student happens to be in the field\
✈ No, Mom, not by accident, Bahram and I were playing hide-and-seek\
♀ That's right, what else for a boy in his twenties to do?
≛ Ma'am, you're wrong. Aviation\
♀ Yes! It's a budget version of hide-and-seek. On airplanes. In the field!
✈ In the sky!
♀ In the sky. I blew out the engine of an airplane. With a spray gun. With paint. So what was it? Has a meteorite become a container, or has a container become a meteorite?
ƒ Both.
♀ Yeah. After the meteorite and the container switched places, my son\
✈ Mom! You wanted them in order! Well, I mean it\
♀ I did, by the way. In order. About the field. So, thou set fire to the field, then thou set fire to the village ... I'm not confused, am I?
The girl had been following this conversation intently and enthusiastically. Her father was not hurrying to put the pieces of the puzzles together.
ƒ No, ma'am. The settlement caught fire from the woods. Not from the field. Neither did the power plant. It went off afterward.
♀ Fine.
The woman had clearly given up trying to figure out how much money she had in her account, how much she could sell her house for, and how much she could borrow from someone. Astronomical sums and lawsuits are clearly not her forte.
✈ Mom, I told you there was no one in the field. I mean, there were no casualties. I mean to death. And the farmers, they even managed to get everyone out of the stable!
ƒ What is a"stable"?
♀ A storehouse of cows. But, son, I'm upset!
✈ Mom...
♀ Upset! Thou robbed us of a whole stable of kosher fresh-smoked ham! Halal. Is that what thou sent the dispatch from... thou know, from over there?
✈ No, the message was inside, about an alien invasion.
♀ There's no doubt about it! Thou opened it with thy magic wand, read it X-rayed, translated it telepathically, and teleported it elfically to the rescue of the Mafia. The Camorra agreed to save the local universe, but robbed you of thy cell phone. Which I just didn't see.
✈ It's actually a walkie-talkie. Alien.
♀ Yes, aliens have a company called "Midland", too. They make phones, too. Very convenient. Calls to Sirius without roaming. Intergalactic cooperation. Ah! That was the cell phone expert-dog who was detained by the cops for being unmuzzled for a week in UFO territory without a vaccination versus "Alien".
ƒ Wow.
✈ No, Mom, I was at the U.N. at the time!
≛ What?!
♀ That's right. He called an emergency all-planet symposium about a swaggeringly un-flying UFO ... an pan-galactic symposium.
✈ That's right, me\
♀ I'm telling you. My version is the most coherent and the most logical. Next. Not all the dictators showed up for the confernce, thou took offense, abolished the UN and headed for the promenade. Then thou hijack a UFO flying saucer that happens to be in the parking lot.
✈ No, Mom! That's different. The UFO landed later.
♀ Right! There's another UFO with three of our fighter jets chasing it. "A fighter jet", right? Not "an interceptor"?
≛ Yes, ma'am.
♀ Great, you too. My son, sticking up for his alien colleague with the alien name Bahram, shoots the hell out of the naughty jets. Right over New York City, right?
≛ Yes, that's\
♀ That's right, we've got more cities. One more seedy New York City, one less... There's a general in his car\
≛ That's not my vehicle. It's the Treasury Department's.
♀ Exactly. The director... non-director... steals a car... Apparently, a special service of some Treasury Department guarding the some President of the local despicable United States. The aliens, unable to tolerate improper parking and offended by the theft of their UFOs, themselves vendetta steal the natives' jeeps and now pursue us with a corn fire extinguisher as a present. Am I missing anything?
YOU ARE READING
Vor
Science Fiction{Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator} Contact with aliens will not necessarily lead to war, peace, neutrality or even ignoring ...
