The Tree's Heart

XVIII

Clover was spending most of the next few days indoors or near the cabin. She was trying to stay away from Avery, even though she missed him badly. She was lying awake at night, thinking of him, and she barely got any sleep. But she knew that if she saw him again, she probably never would make it out of the forest. She would be under his spell again and she wouldn't have the will to get away.

She hoped that once she got out of the forest, she would stop missing him so much all the time. If this continued the same way it had gone on all this time, then she knew she was going to go insane eventually. Especially, because she was well aware that she was never going to find anyone else she'd feel the same way about. There wouldn't be anyone in the human world that would compare to Avery.

It was a little embarrassing to admit that she had gotten so attached to him and barely knew anything about him. She wondered whether there was any way they could be together without her having to become fae. Whether there might even be a way to turn him back into a human... after all, Willow had said that any magic that was done could also be undone again. Maybe it was the same for Avery.

But Clover had no idea what that might mean for him. From what she had heard, he was ancient – thousands of years old, in fact. It was impossible to say what would happen. What if turning him back meant that he was going to age rapidly and die? What if it was completely impossible? Either way, those were just some thought experiments. Clover knew she didn't have the time to do anything like that.

Still, the possibility was in her head. Maybe... maybe after she had finished college. Maybe she could come back here if she was still missing Avery so terribly much. That was if it wasn't too late. The tithe the fae had to pay every seven years was still on her mind. She didn't know when the current seven years would be up and from what everyone was saying, it seemed like Avery was suspecting that he was going to be the one to pay the tithe this time around. He hadn't mentioned it to her, but Willow had told her that it was the one thing he was afraid of. He was more afraid of that than anything else.

But while Clover was near the cabin, he couldn't do anything. He couldn't talk to her, and he couldn't touch her. She was meeting up with Dras a lot and they took walks along the perimeter of the ward, just to get some fresh air, to have some company. Clover didn't like to admit it, but it was bothering her that she had to be so careful all the time. She only had about a week left in the forest and she felt like she had barely seen anything. She wished she could have explored more, met more people.

Some part of Clover was afraid of going back – what if she wasn't going to fit in anymore? And what was she going to tell everyone? She couldn't tell people about the things she had seen in here – about Willow and the tree that was Nora and the fae and Dras and Avery and the nymphs. They'd lock her up in an asylum and give her all kinds of pills. But Clover knew that she wasn't going insane. All these things really existed. Magic really existed. She had seen it; she had felt its effects. She had experienced it.

Clover never thought that she would one day be the kind of person that was going to believe in magic and faeries and all of that. She had always thought that those things were myths, just kids' stories, not something that was real and hidden from the world. It was funny how staying in the forest had changed her that way. She never thought it would be possible for her to believe in all of this, but here she was – desperate for a strange, fae man that would probably sell her to hell in exchange for another seven years. It would be funny to her if the situation wasn't so serious and dangerous.

Still, she was glad that she could spend the final few days in the forest with Dras. He was good at distracting her from her woes and her problems. He was good at distracting her from how much she missed Avery. And sometimes, if they were both feeling devious, they would go and step outside the ward, just for a little bit. It was something they never told Willow, of course. She would freak out if she knew.