Blue and grey

to the person falling in love with me.

To whomever that person is that would fall for me, please remember that I'm really hard to handle. I cry at books, songs, series, movies, and sometimes on a random morning. I can't express what I'm feeling in my words. I write them down and then tear them because I'm just too afraid people won't love the real me. I'm insecure. I care a lot. I worry a lot. I often get jealous. I get easily frustrated. I act childish. I have anger issues. I don't have patience. My ego is too big. It's always going to be hard for me to believe that you have loved a girl like me. A girl as difficult as me. No matter how much you tell me you love me, I will always think there is an alternative to my existence in your life. I'm negative and I overthink a lot. but, if I ever fall in love with you, I will love everything in you like I've loved the moon. I will love every scar and every segment in you. And I will never un-love you. Love is a huge thing for me. A very big word with a lot of responsibilities to manage. Loving me might be the hardest thing for you, but loving you is going to be the easiest task for me. I will never blame you for the mistakes you might do. Even if you break or crush my heart into pieces, every single piece of my broken heart will still love you. My heart will always love every small thing in you. From the way you look at me, the way my name beautifully comes out of your plum lips, the way your eyes shine under the dim moonlight to the way you found a way to trespass my heart in the most impossible way ever. You can leave me in my worst condition, and I'll still think the best of you. I will write poetries about you. I will write poetries about us. I will write poetry about the first day we met, our first talk, our first text, our first know-each-other game, our first 'I love you', our first kiss, and the way my heart always skipped a beat every single time you looked at me like that.