Their Princess

"I don't know how to help her."

TW- PTSD episode, grief, swearing

Song: Weightless
Artist: Layla

Kat's pov:

I rolled over in Rafe's bed. He was still gone when I woke up from my three hour nap, however, Topper was still here- his arm was draped over my frame as he too had fallen asleep. I picked up my phone from the side table and it read: 12:30pm.
I sighed and got changed into a pair of black shorts and Top's hoodie that was perched on the desk chair. Once I felt fresh again, (since before I was wearing the same clothes I'd gotten hammered with Kiara in) I sat on the edge of the bed, just staring at my camera roll, scrolling through the hundreds of selfies and pictures of my brothers, sisters and myself. I sniffed, wiping my tears away as they fell. They were the only family I had left and I was giving them away. It wasn't my place to be selfish though. They needed to stay somewhere where a family will love and care for them 24/7 someone who will keep them safe and away from all of this Outer Banks bullshit.

Images of George shot through my brain, rattling like bullets and ricocheting as I tried to blink away the vision of him laying dead on our living room floor. "It should have been me not him." I muttered to myself, pushing my weight back up from the bed and staring blankly out of the window. I noticed Wheezie and Sarah preparing food on the table outside, they were laughing about something as Sarah showed her sister something on her phone. I miss my kids.

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"How are you feeling?" Rose asks me, placing a mug of chamomile tea in front of me. I'm sat on the cream-coloured couch in their living room currently. Topper is sat on my left, I lie my head on his chest and feel his arm engulf me into his side. I know it probably looks extremely wrong to Rose but I couldn't be bothered to move away. I needed him. I needed someone.
"I feel like shit." I respond as my boyfriends' lips press a kiss on the top of my head. His free hand stroking my cheek. "When's Rafe coming back?"
She shrugs, "He's with Ward. His father isn't happy about his drug use." Oh shit. How the fuck did Ward find out about that? "They probably won't be back for a while yet."
I smile bleakly and suddenly get the urge to push away from Topper. I lean my head against the back of the chair and sigh deeply.
"You don't have to hide it you know..." Rose says, a small smile planted on her lips, "I know you're all together. I mean, it's not that hard to figure out."
"Oh- I..." The blonde stutters beside my and a laugh at him. "Well that's a bonus I guess."
"Rafe'll be in a mood when he gets back." I tell Top.
Rose's smile drops and she sighs, "If he gets back, Ward wants to kick him out. He's sick of the attitude. I am too of course, but there is something wrong with that boy. And sooner or later he is going to need help. You understand that don't you, Kat?"
I nod, I had had this conversation with her before. There was definitely something wrong with my boy but nothing either he or his father wanted to admit. Rafe's anger issues were brutal and his lashing o sut could one day kill someone if they weren't careful. I loved him with all my heart- I really did- but he was full of issues... just like me.

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"Wanna get drunk?" I ask Topper, he throws his phone on the bed and looks up at me with a surprised look. I'm currently packing some of Rafe's clothes into a rucksack for when he gets back. If what Rose said earlier is true, then Rafe is going to be stressed and emotionally distressed as he has been before.
He raises his eyebrows and shakes his head, "No- ah... why would you ask that? When we picked you up earlier you looked like you were-"
"Like what? An alcoholic? Like my parents?!" I ask him, my voice raising with every word. He shakes his head. My brother flashes back through my mind...
He started signing to me, he was smiling and almost laughing as we sat and watched tv all together as a family (our family). I was 15 and pregnant. The twins had chosen a barbie film to watch and added subtitles to it. We were laughing at the pigeon that had just flown straight into the window. God knows how, since our windows were dusty, dirty and stained as hell.
Dad stormed into the house. He was drunk. Why couldn't any fun time just stay... fun. Why did everything have to be interrupted? George signs to us, but dad is too fucked up and snaps at him. "Stop fucking doing that bullshit with your fingers, brat. Teach the kids actual stuff you stupid fucking bitch! Didn't I teach any of you anything?!" He screams at us, "You got fucking pregnant and can't even look after yourself. I hope you kill yourself, Kathrine-Jane! It would make my life ten times easier, for sure!" He pushes his body up the stairs and tumbles into his bedroom with a CRASH-
The memories and nightmares crash down the wall that I tried to keep up on my brain. The wall that kept them away and stopped people seeing me weak like this. I'm still stressed about Rafe with Ward and I'm still slightly hungover. He sighs, "You know that's not what I meant." I roll my eyes and throw Rafe's bag onto the bed beside my other boyfriend.
"Fuck!" I yell, growing agitated. My hands start to shake and I drop my phone then slam my hand against the wall. "This is bullshit!" I sob, hitting the wall again. "I hate this! I hate this! I hate this!" I shout. Thank god the house is since empty. Rose left with Wheezie earlier and Sarah ran away with the Pogues a couple of hours before.
"Woah. Hey, hey, hey..." Topper tries to comfort me but I shove him off -overwhelmed- and starting to get flashbacks through my mind. I can practically feel the hands on my skin and my ex forcing himself onto me, I can feel all the places that dad hit and kicked and abused me all my life. I'm reliving my worst nightmares, my worst memories, my worst-

Topper's pov:

I don't know how to help her and Rafe won't answer his phone. I can't explain it, she's... shaking. Was this a normal thing? This hadn't happened in the time I've joined this relationship. I try to calm down but she pushes me away. She's crying and screaming. Beads of sweat are streaming down her face and down her neck, "Kat, what's wrong. Tell me so I can help-" She's on the floor now- cowering in the corner with one of her hands trembling in front of her face and the other on her stomach. Was she on her period or something? That might've been rude to say actually.
"Kat-" She holds her hands out (as if trying to stop me) and continues to shuffle backwards. I hold up my hands (in surrender) and crouch down, slightly in front of her body but far enough to stop her from doing something dangerous towards herself.
"Let me help you." I try my hardest to be there for her even though my mom is convinced I'm not helpful for anything- including myself. "Please." I try again. I look into her eyes and they're zoned off now, she's completely out of it. She's not high or drunk (well not anymore at least), but she's not in her right mind.
"It hurts..." She whispers, almost inaudibly.
"Where? Where does it hurt, baby?" I crawl towards her ever so slightly. Tears are streaming down her cheeks but I'm not sure she realises. "Hey, you're okay. You're safe." I calmly tell her, although her eyes are still drifting off into the distance.
Her whole body twitches and shivers as I attempt to move even closer to her; I decide to pause and leave her there for the moment.

It's been half an hour and she's still acting weird: sweating, shaking, zoning out, panicking and I don't know how I can help her. Rafe still isn't home and I'm starting to worry about the both of them.

"Anything I can do, baby?" I whisper, kneeling back down in front of her. She's still crying a river, tears streaming down her cheeks but not as heavy as before. She's staring off into space and looks ill. I glance down and notice how she's scratching the top of her arms (close to her shoulders) her long-ish nails beginning to draw blood. "Hey, Kat. Can you stop for a second?" I ask, reaching my arm out to take a closer look at the scratches on her skin. Her eyes are still drifted off into oblivion.
Rose is downstairs with Wheezie and god knows where Sarah is (not that I care anymore), but I call for Rose just in case this has happened before and she could help?

"Rose?! ROSE!!!" I yell, carefully caressing Kathrine's hair. It's like she doesn't even know I'm here. I use my thumb to wipe away some of the water on her face- I had used a cold, wet cloth to try and stop her from overheating about ten minutes ago- it hadn't work.
I moment later, I hear footsteps running up the stairs and a knock at Rafe's bedroom door. "I'm here, what's up?" She calls through the thin wooden door, "You two alright?"
"Come in, there's something wrong with her." I say as Rafe's stepmom walks in, takes one look at Kathrine and suddenly runs up to us and sits beside me.
"How long has she been like this?!" She asks- looking slightly panicked yet still calm- as Kat is still rocking forwards to backwards, she's mumbling something now, but I can't make out what it is.
I shake my head, "An hour maybe, I tried to calm her down but nothings working. What's happening to her? Had this happened before?" I ask, desperately trying to stop myself from falling apart and crying- I hated to see her in pain, her and Rafe.
"Yeah, I'll be right back. Put her on the bed, I'll be back in a second." She says, exiting the room, "Pick her up, she won't even acknowledge it."
As she leaves, I crawl over to my girlfriend and cradle her in my arms. I lift her off the floor and lay her in the soft mattress and stroke down her face a final time before Rose runs back in with a syringe in her right hand. I stop her before she reaches the bed- scared for Kat. "What is that?" I ask her sitting on the edge of the bed, holding Kat's hand.
Rose sighs, "It's fine, Topper. It'll calm her down. I've used this on her before." Rose comes forwards and leans over Kat carefully looking for a vein to inject it into. She injects the needle into her shoulder, then throws it into the bin at the end of the bed. "She'll be okay. I'll tell you when Rafe gets back, he usually deals with the aftermath." She informs me, moving a strand of hair behind her ear before walking out of the room calmly and as if nothing had happened.
"What aftermath? What happened?" I ask again, completely confused and worried.
Rose shakes her head and turns back to face the spiralling stairs, below. "I think that's a conversation the three of you should have, together." I not to myself as she slowly leaves and retreats back downstairs to where I could hear Wheezie asking her what happened. FYI Rose didn't respond to her.

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Author:

Hey guys, thank you so much for reading this. Sorry I haven't been uploading as recently and what would you guys like to happen next?