There's Things That I Want To Say To You *But*I'll*Just*Let*You*Live*

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My feelings towards things in life is like I may dislike you and do not hate you because I think it is just life that is being itself and hating on something is a waste of mental energy  how is this related to my father idk at one point i thought my father is fine forgetting that he plays a really big role in my trauma , I didn't forget what he did but I didn't realize what has happened to should have never been normalized my family are all Muslim ok and really do believe in Islam , I not so much ,I believe there is god but I do not have the reason to believe which one is right , and I know this much praying and praying for your wishes to come true is just a waste because here we will never get anything without doing something,I could have a different point of view but I do not my father's way of trying to get me devoted to a religion is shit you can't make me pray hoping that I am actually praying and being loyal to the family not the religion,If you really wanted me to be devoted you shouldn't have to force me to pray or cover up my body what the fuck is wrong with long skirts why is your old as shit daddy always looking at me like I got nothing on my body I am literally minding my business in my home where I should be safest why should I be scared of getting hit by you when you are the one who should protect I know you wouldn't have even dared to ask us everyday how we are doing because we are women and have hit puberty if it weren't for me trying kms why was I expected to know everything when I didn't know a shit about praying , I was god damn too scared tell anyone that I didn't know how to pray because I did not want to get hit you trying to make me loyal to this religion has successfully gone wrong I know that you believe that dancing is haram and you do not like it but seriously sexualizing a 6th grader is very low of you rather than being physically violent you should have told me why i should not dance If I was to actually connect with islam it would a miracle reason and that would be not you and also what is wrong with pretty nails when you are in your periods go ahead with your opinions if I had the courage to commit murder I'd do  that by the time you  retire but I will obviously not because there are far more worse people than you that are actually worth the jail time
And at the end of the day at least you care that I am alive even if it might have hidden truth I'm fine with it