Luck in a Sense (Illumi x Reader)

Sword

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  I calmed down a bit when Illumi pulled me into his arms. I was at ease. I shook with fear but I could withstand it. This—me being in his arms—was different from a distraction. This was a different defense—no, this was an attack.

  It's like being in his arms was me swinging a sharp blade at the thing and countering its impact. The thing had no fear of me before. I feared it. But now, I had a weapon.

  Now I had hope.

  "What are you doing?" He wondered after seeing me go back to normal. I felt warmth in my face. Embarrassment. Why? I'm no wuss. Ugh!

  "I'm sorry," I sighed, trying to hide my anxiety.

  "I... was going to say something when you asked why I was so questioning." I tried to continue, looking away from him.

  THERE IT WAS AGAIN!!!

  I ran from it as quickly as I could, darting my eyes to Illumi's and cradling closer to his chest.

  It went away.

  "What?" I asked myself, staring into his eyes. It was a personal confusion.

  What the hell is happening to me!?

  "You're scared," he said.

  "Yes!" I sort of panicked. Stop being a bitch, you look ridiculous!

  "Of me?" No. That was so opposite from the truth I couldn't even imagine it. He was... taking away my fear.

  He was... protecting me. No one has ever... I mean. Not since my parents...

  A warmth washed over me and impulse ran through my veins.

  "Illumi, I think that..." I put my fingers in his hair, searching for strength. "I think I love you," my voice gave out with the word and half of the sentence was inaudible.

  He didn't react.

  Unlike any moment before it felt... awkward. How had I become like this? What happened in the last minute!?

  "I want to cry," I continued. It's as if my body needed room for something new... love? and had to let something old... trauma? go.

  I couldn't understand it fully, but it seemed refreshing.

  "Why?" He asked.

  "Because I'm sad..." I realized this for the second time.

  "Sad. I know that one," he sighed.

  "You do?" I almost felt a sense of relief. Could he truly relate? Could we find some deeper sort of connection?

  "I've studied it," he corrected.

  Oh.

  "What did you find?" I ignored the brief dissatisfaction in my heart.

  "Crying helps," he concluded, preparing to set me down.

  The ground looked like death... and I feared going down there. I would no longer be this close to him. I'd be left to fend for myself.

  "No, no, no! ILLUMI, PLEASE!" I began to shiver, wrapping my arms around his neck and clinging to him like a child.

  "What are you doing?"

  "Don't let me go!" My voice cracked. I shivered. "I can't-,"

  He waited for me to finish my sentence. It was such an Illumi thing to do. He was so simple. I tightened my hold on him, not out of lust or just fear, but of comfort.

  "I need you to hold me," I admitted. I needed him to hold the sword for me. I couldn't do it. "Please,"

  "OK." He said.

  That night I asked for the second favor. An obvious one.

  "Don't let me go unless I say so," I ordered. His arms around me felt like more than works of art. They felt like bliss, like heaven. God,

  I couldn't think of a better word to describe him.

  That night I wept while the sword shone in the face of my nemesis. I cried quietly, trying not to be obnoxious. He was right. I felt like I was releasing the Devil himself through the salt of my tears.

  I noticed an increase in his respiration and heartbeat every time a whimper escaped my lips. Was he worried?

  Slowly, he drifted into slumber. I twined our legs and arms until we were snakes coiled into one another. We didn't need the blanket because of our proximity.

  His breath brushed my hair and his chest swayed us both under my shivering.

  There was much more of this old thing to be let out than I could even begin to measure.

  The pain was ferocious, but the sword was out and seemed to only sharpen as I pressed infinitely closer to God.

  I planted kisses on his collar, letting myself enjoy how close we were.

  Tomorrow's targets would likely be able to give us more information. I was glad, I knew that fact will make him feel better about the mission. Something about that made me squirm with joy.

  Joy.

  Eventually, my sobs turned to moans and my moans to Z's.

  I dreamt of nothing... not even a nightmare.

  Drip

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