Silent Dream | The Last Of Us |

Chapter Four: Laughter in the Tombs

After our first time we became inseparable. I was madly in love, he was too. We spent every moment of every day by each others sides.

He liked to cook me breakfast, usually yogurt or fruit themed dishes. Bacon and eggs if we were lucky. Pancakes, toast, waffles, all of that was off the table. Wheat in them all. Wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole.

He made me feel held in a time nobody else would. At my lowest. At my most fearful of the world he was right there. Holding my hand and  kissing my lips. After about three months I had memorized every square inch of his body. I'd figured out and noted his many mannerisms and quirks. Words cannot even begin to describe how close we were.

Memories of Ewan occasionally appear into my train of thought, usually when I'm by water; We spent a lot of time swimming and lying beside the rivers of Washington state. He loved the water. Beside him in the water I was so happy. Happiest I'd been since my family died. But like everything it came crashing down.

After about a year of us being together we went to bed like we usually do, him wrapped around my back like a leech. I loved it. The feeling of his breath on the back of my neck and his arms wrapped around my waist made me whole.

At midnight one fateful night, I woke up to the sound gunshots, a sound that froze me in my tracks.

I couldn't move, I laid still in the bed as I cried in terror. "Ewan?" I muttered to no response. I moved my hand just barely enough to feel the absence of Ewan in bed. "Ewan...?" I forced myself to look over to his side and my hand wasn't misreading anything. He was gone. As gunshots continued screaming through the complex I paid close attention to any voices outside, but all I could hear were screams suddenly and brutally being cut short.

I stumbled over to the front door to use the peephole, hopefully seeing Ewan or some sort of context. However it wasn't even see through, the lens was covered in blood. I started to panic, knowing something was wrong, knowing Ewan wasn't safe.

I hesitatingly prepared to find Ewan, my body seemingly screaming at me to hide and give up. I couldn't, couldn't do that to someone who gave me everything. I found my knife quickly, that's all I managed to acquire.

Sneaking out of the door I panted, my mind forcing painful memories into my train of thought. I shut it out once I head the gunshots once more, the bullets audibly silencing someone. Upon observation of the hallway on the third floor I found blood splattered on the walls. Two bodies laid limp on the floor.

I then heard the familiar sound of someone walking up the staircase, trying to be quiet. Quickly I slid up against the wall nearby the stairwell. Waiting as the footsteps grew louder, gripping my knife.

As a man appeared with a riffle aiming at the hallway I swung my knife into his neck. The man swung at me but missed, falling over while he gurgled and choked on his own blood. He stared up at me as I wiped the blood of my knife onto my pants. His face turning from a scowl to a look of fear.

I momentarily paused, waiting to see if anyone else would appear. Luckily nobody did before the voice echoed, the buildings makeshift landlord. He exclaimed a series of explanations and excuses for what just happened, all I know however is that I'm glad it was over.

I almost walked back to the apartment before I realized, Ewan. As if I was levitating I ran past and around bodies, searching each floors corpse hoping not to find Ewan. I then reached the bottom floor of the building to see Ewan slouched against a wall.

"Ewan?" I asked, no response. Surely he was just sleeping? But why would he be sleeping right there? "Hey?" I exclaimed approaching my boyfriend. I then noticed the blood, the deep red stains that leaked across his torso.

"Ewan get up." I demanded as I wrapped my hand behind him, the familiar warm touch of him gone. "Ewan please." I asked as my voice broke, it can't be, he's all I have, he's all I want. "Please get up-" I asked lifting him into my arms. "Don't leave me. Please Ewan." I asked once more his cold body providing nothing in response as I looked down at his blood smeared across my arms. "No no no no no-"

I can't think of it for more than a few minutes. The memories hurt. Hurt like a son of a bitch they ever bleed.

Even that might have been too much focus as I started to sob, almost uncontrollably as my body produced tears that streamed down my face.

"You okay?" A voice appeared out of nowhere, slightly startling me. I spun around to see Michael leaned up against a tree looking towards me.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I sniffled out a lie that wasn't even slightly believable.

"I don't really know why I asked that, I already know your not," Michael expressed as he maneuvered over to the rock I was on,"Do you want to talk about it?" Michael asked sitting next to me.

I didn't but I knew I should talk to someone about it, and Michael wasn't likely to give up the subject. So I sighed, "I guess," Michael smiling at me,"Ewan always liked rivers, we would spend days upon days in the waters and sat on rocks."

"Who is Ewan?" Michael asked, I then remembered he has no idea who Ewan was.
"He was my partner." I responded stiffly,
"Was? Breakup?" He asked.
"No he was... killed." That was the first time I've ever said that out loud and the realization of such an event shook me.

"How do you deal with it?" Michael asked,
"I don't really, I just try to ignore it." I wasn't lying.
"I know how you feel, my wife died too." Michael responded. I felt comfort briefly, then some irritation thinking he'd switch the conversation towards him. But he didn't he was trying to relate.

"How long ago did he pass if you don't mind me asking?" I didn't.
"Eleven years," My body once again began to sob, I never really wanted to cry but my body told me to, "How about you?"
"Ten."
"I'm sorry."
"Afterwards I got mad. I didn't want it to be true. But now I keep going, for her."
"Yeah, I like that."

I liked the idea of going for Ewan, as well as Joel. It's strange isn't it? The internal dilemma of who means most to me, though Joel should be the obvious choice. I think I love them in different ways, I love Joel for his love of me and his overwhelming spirit. Ewan had those things as well but Joel is a new chapter in my life that I don't want to finish.

Michael looked at me with a smile before pulling me in for a friendly hug. It's been so long since I've had something even remotely close to a friend. Joel is all I've had for years. Don't get me wrong I'm glad I have him but sometimes I just wonder what the world was like before the outbreak. Before the virus, before everything.

Joel told me all about how stores used to work, schools, movie theaters, sleepovers, sports, clothing stores, malls, everything. It sounded so peaceful, if foreign to me. I knew some things before I met Joel, I knew what movies were. I enjoyed the movie Candyman. It was so different from our world, so much more human.

With one final thought I slipped off the cold rock and made my way back to Joel and I's sleeping bag. Finding him dead asleep in a weirdly adorable way, mouth slightly open and his leg curled up to his chest. I asked Michael if he was coming back to bed but he declined, to my knowledge he just stayed put on the rock.

Upon waking up in the woods I found Joel already up with Michael, they were crouched over a fire pit talking cautiously around the flame.
"Good morning." Joel giggled, "We were just about to wake you up hun."
"Huh? Why?" I asked before looking up to see the sun directly above us. Shit.

Joel then laid out a hand and helped me up, I was strangely wobbly this morning. Michael and him had already gathered everything besides our sleeping bag which Joel quickly took care of. Joel was sometimes almost unbearably helpful, sometimes he was greatly unhelpful, but mostly he finds a balance between the two. This morning however he was leaning towards unbearably helpful.

Nonetheless he did get the small job done in record time, sending us three back onto the road towards Vancouver.

We didn't have any sort of map or set path, we just had the compass and knew we needed to head southwest. It was a slightly undercooked plan but we'd eventually at least find a highway that was able to tell us Vancouvers location.