The Ranch at Havenwood

Chapter 4

A few minutes after 8:00, I was signing the check-in log in the physicians' building. I'd missed the chance to shower and then had to run from the gym to Alanna's office. I'd remember to blame Jace for it again later. The receptionist smiled as she recognized me and said, "Go on back. She's waiting on you." I thanked her before making my way down the brightly painted hallway to our usual meeting room on the right. The hall had murals painted by patients, one on each side. The left side depicted a ranch-style cartoon with oranges and blues most prevalent. A cowboy and a horse with eyes too big for its head were herding box-like cattle into a pen. The right side was more subdued with a scene that reminded me of my accident. Again, there was a cowboy on his horse, though everything was proportionally correct. The horse was on its hind legs with my parents' bright red barn in the background. I paused to study that one for a moment before walking through the door to see Alanna.

My petite, blonde-headed sister-in-law was seated in a black swivel chair behind her mahogany-colored writing desk, feet kicked up and inadvertently showcasing her flamingo socks.

"Nice feet." Alanna jumped, those bright pink flamingos quickly finding the floor.

"Make noise, boy," she said while brushing her hair out of her startlingly pale blue eyes. "About time you showed up, though," she joked with a gentle smile.

Instinctively, I went on the defensive. I'd been seeing a therapist since I was twenty-two, but I still would rather keep it all bottled up, whatever it was at the time.

"I'm okay, Alanna. Last night was rough, but it's done now. I'm good."

"Blaine, just talk to me. Don't try answering therapy questions that haven't been asked. Just come, sit, and tell me what's been happening."

I fisted my hands and released them a few times before feeling the fight leave me. I recalled Declan's threat; it was either this or admitting to my father that I probably shouldn't be dealing with 1200-pound animals. I made my way to Alanna's black leather couch, letting myself fold into its cushions.

"Now," she said. "Why don't you tell me what's going on in that head of yours?"

"Between Jace and Declan, you already have the rundown. I found an old bottle of pills and almost fell off the wagon," I said, deadpanned. What happened, happened, but I couldn't dwell on it right now. I picked up the squishy fidget toy off the side table and squeezed it a few times; when Alanna didn't speak, I risked a glance in her direction. Her eyes were piercing me with so many questions that I knew she wouldn't ask. When it came to professionalism and keeping a clean line between therapist and family, no one could have done it better. I tilted my head in question to her curiosity.

"What?" I asked.

"The guys told me that you found some pills and that they were worried about you. I want to know what your thoughts were yesterday during all of this. Did you know the prescription bottle was in that medicine cabinet?"

I stood and started pacing along the backside of the couch, a hand running through my hair over and over. Driving a nail through my foot would have been less painful than discussing this.

"No." I paused in my movements and sighed, "Yes. Sort of." I resumed my pacing while Alanna calmly readjusted her position, tucking her left leg underneath her body. Letting out another deep sigh, I moved to the front of the couch and retook my seat.

"Hey," she said when I still didn't speak.

"Hmm."

"What do you mean by you 'sort of' knew they were there?"

"Confidential?" I asked, finding interest in the photography on the far wall. The largest picture was taken in the middle of town; a blonde-headed girl with a ponytail was standing while a dark-haired man was on one knee, a ring in hand. Kelsey had snapped the shot from a distance upon Declan's request to photograph the proposal.