What A Strange Thing We Are

A Wee (but stout) Prologue

Before there was good and evil, there was "was" and "wasn't". It's hard to decipher which one became good, and which one became evil, and it's even harder to decipher whether the "wasn't" perhaps thought it was a "was", and the "was" didn't know that it wasn't a "wasn't".

Some evil thinks it's good, and some good doesn't know it's actually terrifyingly evil; but also some good is pretty damn certain it's good (statistically speaking), and some evil takes great evil delight in knowing it truly is evil.

Perhaps The Tallarrammarrillion started out as a was, but it very much wanted to become a wasn't. It wanted everything to become a wasn't.

Some nihilists would see this as a very good thing, whereas the more optimistic and life-loving among us may see that as a very, very evil thing. The Tallarrammarrillion, however cared very little for good, nihilism, or life and quite enjoyed simply being evil. That happens when you are bigger than almost everything in existence for a very, very unfathomably long time.

The Tallarrammarrillion had been around since the first days of wases and wasn'ts and felt quite entitled to be the decider of whether or not wases shouldn't be wasn'ts (or vice versa). You might say, even if you are indeed a big-time nihilist, that The Tallarrammarrillion was a God.

A God that thought it was hilarious to snuff life out just as it began to evolve. Just as soon as it had the ability to feel love and fear. The Tallarrammarrillion made jungle planets uninhabitable. Water planets became deserts, and life-giving suns were blown out like birthday candles. The Tallarrammarrillion brought pain and despair to those that deserved it the least. It was greed, narcissism, hate and ignorance all wrapped up in one annoyingly unnecessarily overly-long-named entity.

But fortunate for you, your family, friends, butterflies, aardvarks, flowers, mosquitos, and even bacteria, viruses, and badgers...there were other Gods. Others that had been around just as long. Perhaps they, in contrast, were wasn'ts that became wases. Big loving, empathetic, adorable wasn'ts that didn't ever want to go back to not being anything at all. Some became cruel, some became unknowingly corrupt with power and evil...but never not wanting to "be".

These "Gods" (and there were many) trapped The Tallarrammarrillion and chained it to Bronco, the most massive black hole in the universe, where The Tallarrammarrillion spent all its strength and energy trying not to be pulled though the damn thing. Not even The Tallarrammarrillion knew what lied beyond a black hole, but The Tallarrammarrillion was pretty sure it wasn't "wasn't".

Despite time apparently being an illusion, it somehow passed. Worlds came and went. Wars raged. Oceans boiled. Swords clashed, laser guns pew-pewed, currency trumped love and malls became a thing. Life in most places went from physically gruelling to mentally gruelling as technologies evolved from tools to hunt large, furry elephants (oddly, every world and dimension everywhere had elephants – and named them such in at least one of their languages) ...to computer generated steak and orgasms.

Over all these billions of years, The Tallarrammarrillion grew weak, but waited. Focused on back-wood worlds. Those with elves and dragons and ogres and goblins. Those that still believed in the essence of The Tallarrammarrillion's power: magic.

But, as even the most uneducated, underfunded and ignorant God understood...

No chains hold forever...