Vishwaas

Chapter 32: Answers

"Maa, Dad. Mein bas abhi aaya." Rohan said as he rushed out of the dining hall as soon as he finished his breakfast. 

(I'll be right back.)

Chhaya had just left and was waiting at the gate of the orphanage for him. They were going to walk to a closeby lake, a place she's been going ever since she got here, a place that gave her peace. She saw Rohan run out and she turned away, as soon as he was near her she started walking. They fell into silence as they made their walk over. It took 15 minutes to get there, but to Rohan, it felt like 15 centuries. Soon they two found themselves sitting on a bench gazing at the peaceful lake, a few ducks swimming and little ducklings following behind. Beautiful lavender flowers blossomed around them, mountains peaks covered in snow, waiting for the couple to find their answers.

Not being able to bear the silence, Rohan was desperate to break it, but he wanted Chhaya to begin. The only thing he needed to do was to get rid of all her worries. After a few minutes of silence, Chhaya turned around and faced Rohan.

"Maine tumhari journal padhi. Woh sab jo tumne likha hai . . . sach hai?"

(I read your journal. Everything that you wrote. . . .is it true?)

"Usse zada sachi baat aur koi ho hi nahi sakti. Har baat usnme likhi hai sach hai."

(Nothing could be more true than that. Everything I wrote is true.)

Rohan watched Chhaya close her eyes and hug herself closer before whispering, "You went to therapy. For me."

It was not a question, it was a statement. 

She knew now after reading his journal. That he did that for her. "Why?" she whispered as she turned to look at him.

Rohan turned towards her completely, "Because you're my salvation. You're the blessing that was sent my way and I was completely mistreated. You are meant to be my everything and I made you feel like nothing. I was meant to heal the wounds inflicted on you and not add any more. You're God's gift to this broken man, His angel. The angel who I ended up crumbling."

Chhaaya watched as the man got off the bend and kneeled in front of her, his knees pressed against the soil, spoiling his expensive pants. But he didn't care. Rohan cautiously held Chhaya's hands and looked down at them.

"Tumhare jaane ke baad mere paas sirf do hi raaste the. Ya toh mein mar jaata, ya aapne aapko tumhara liyak banata. Agar mar jaata to bhagwan bhi mujhe aapne paas nahi bulate. Aur narg mein bhi jaaga nahi milti. Agar galti se bhagwan aapne paas jaga de bhi dete toh wahan tumhari maa ko kya muh dikhata. Woh mujhe kabhi maaf nahi krti. Mere paas sirf aapne aap ko behtar krne ka raasta hi bachta hai. Taki agar mein tumhe thodi si bhi khushi de sakun to kam se kam chain se mar toh sakta hun."

(After you left, I only had two options. Either I let myself die or I make myself worthy of you. If I had died then even God wouldn't have let me close to him. And I wouldn't even be welcomed into Hell. Even if God had welcomed me, what would I say to your mother? She would never forgive me. So I only had the option of bettering myself.  So if I could bring a smile to your face even once, I could die peacefully.)

Chhaya shook her head, "marne ki baatein mat karo, please." (Don't talk about dying please.)

"Pichle 6 mahino se roz maar raha hun Chhaya."

(I've been dying a slow death for the past 6 months, Chhaya.)

The woman weeps softly as she gazes at the man in front of her. "I'm sorry."

The two words break the last bit of the strong facade Chhaya had up and Rohan finds himself rubbing her hands while still kneeling. She wipes her tears harshly before holding onto Rohan's hands.

"Agar mein tumhe dusra mauka deti hun, toh tum wapis se waise nahi ban jauoge na?"

(If I give you another chance, then you won't become like that again right?)

Roha shook his head, "khabhi nahi." (never.)
"Dubara mujh pr shaq kroge?" (You won't doubt me again.)
"Nahi." (No.)
"Mera dil dubara nahi todoge na?" (You won't break my heart again?)
"Sapne mein bhi nahi soch sakta." (Not even in my dreams.)

Rohan could see the uncertainty lingering in her eyes so he decided it was time to show the letter he had held close to his heart, this was the last thing he had. "Chhaya, you read my journal, but there was a page out there that I took out. Can I read it to you now?"

She nodded her head and watched him pull out a folded piece of paper. 

Rohan handed it over to her and as soon as Chhaya began to read it, Rohan began reciting it, word for word. 

"Chhaya,

Tumhare door hone se hi dil ko ehsaas hua hai ki tumhari mujhe saans lene se bhi zaada zaroorat hai. Mein abh woh nahi hun jisse tum chod kr gayi thi, woh Rohan nahi jo tumhe baat baat pr rulata tha. Badal chukha hun, apne aap ko tumhare liyak bana hun. Pata hai ki iss baat ko saabit nahi kr sakta abhi, pr bas ek mauka mangta hun. Mujhse ek bhi galti hui toh beshak meri taraf doobara mat dekhna. Bas ek mauka aur. Sirf ek mauka. You're right Chhaya. You don't deserve this, but I'm willing to be the man you deserve. I'm hopelessly in love with you and I'll sweep you off your feet, never let sorrow near you. I'll keep you protected. I'll burn each and every universe to ashes out there for you. My soul craves yours, Chhaya. Please. Please give me another chance! I beg you. "

(Ever since you've been away from me, I've realised I need you more than I need oxygen. I'm not the Rohan you left behind, not that Rohan who made you cry over small things. I've changed and made myself worthy of you. I know I can't prove that, but I'll ask for one more chance. If I make even one mistake then you're free to leave and never look back. Just one chance. Only one chance.)

"You remember," Chhaya whispers, reminded of the words she herself had said to him

Chhaya took a deep breath before looking at the man in front of her, she gave him a teary smile. She rubbed her eyes and cleared her throat. 

"Sirf ek mauka aur. Sirf ek." (Only one chance. Only one.)

Rohan smiles brightly in her direction, his happiness beaming through his face brightening the entire mood around them. He pulled himself up and managed to get his arms around Chhaya as well and now she found herself huddled into the man's chest as he spun her around. The lakeside filled with giggles and laughs as Rohan kept spinning her around. 

The couple lost themselves in the moment without a care for the world.

Finally, Rohan found his peace and Chhaya found her answers.