[5/7/23]
"G'morning, Chief! 'Nother day, 'nother dollar, amiright?" Greg asked, opening the front door as nonchalantly as he could. He'd been bitten by a dog the night before while on duty, and this morning when he'd woken up the arm that had gotten bit was so sore he could barely use it. Luckily, it wasn't his dominant hand that had gotten bit, but it's still much harder to do things with only one hand.
"Jesus, Greg, are you sure you shouldn't be letting that thing heal?"
"I'll be fine, Chief! Really, it'll be fine. It's just a bit sore. I'll be back to full operation by tomorrow."
"Still, Greg, you better take it easy for a while. No shenanigans, no goof-offs, no NOTHIN', ok?"
A sigh. "Alright, boss."
"Alright. I'd hate to see one of my best officers get hurt," Chief said, playfully elbowing Greg's ribcage.
Suddenly, the phone rang. Chief flew to it, asking and answering a flurry of questions.
"What's going on?" Greg asked, but Chuef shushed him. After an agonizingly long second, Chief hung up.
"Milly! Buster! Mauve! The other guys! The Cat's escaped from Jail again! We need to stop her!"
"I'll go help!"
"Oh no you won't, Knight. You'll be staying here and doing the most important part of this job."
"What is it, what is it?" Greg asked, jumping up and down a bit.
"You're enthusiastic today, huh? Anyways, your job will be staying here and watching my chair."
Greg's face fell. "What."
"It's important! You never know if The Cat's gonna try and sneak in here and steal my chair!"
"Whatever."
Chief sighed. "Look, Greg, I don't want this to happen either. I want you to stay here and work as much as you want to stay here and work. But it's for the greater good."
"I guess," Greg said, sitting down glumly in a guard chair nearby Chief's chair. "See ya guys when ya get back."
"See ya."
===
Greg woke up with a start, his vision blurry. Sometimes, he felt like a guard dog in the worst possible way, and now he was stuck, literally, as a guard dog. He sighed.
As though his prayers had been answered, the front door to the station burst open, and in followed the cops that had been sent out earlier that morning.
"GREG! APPARENTLY, THE HOUNDS THAT WERE SICCED UPON US WERE RADIOACTIVE!"
"Oh!"
Now it seemed as though he had wished for the ability to jump higher from a genie, and had received it only to be transformed permanently into a very warty toad.
"I see. Well, that's not good."
"That's a bit of an understatement, don't you think?"
Greg looked up from his desk to Milly dumbfounded. "Hey, it's my radioactive injury, not yours."
Milly shrugged, her eyes closed. "You sure you don't wanna go to the hospital for it, still?"
"Yes. I'll be fine."
Chief nodded. "Make sure you take it easy, alright Greg?"
"I will! And I have. Don't worry about me, guys."
The lunch bell rang, and the cops dispersed.
"I'm... gonna go get some lunch somewhere," Greg told no-one in particular, and he slipped away.
Once at The Restaurant Near The Police Station, he took an outdoor seat and propped open his menu, looking for something tasty to eat. Surprisingly, his old favorites of the salad and lemonade seemed unappetizing; instead, he seemed more appealed by the mouthwatering steaks and fish filets on the menu.
He ordered, and the waiter politely told him his meal would be ready as soon as possible. While he waited, he noticed a thief barrel through the outdoor seating, making off with someone's purse. Despite his better judgement, Greg jumped out of his chair and started chasing after the thief, much faster than he had ever before, and soon overcame him.
"STOP! Greg Knight, Collardale Police Department. You have the right to remain silent, criminal!"
"How did you catch me so fast? That was as fast as a squirrel, or a... a dog!"
"That's no matter." Greg handcuffed the felon, and began reading him his Miranda Rights.
"Ugh, this part's boring. Can't you just arrest me already?"
"What?"
"Nothin'."
Greg stared at the delinquent stupefied as he continued reading out the Miranda Rights and asking for a cop car to be delivered.
After the whole spiel was said and done, Greg ate his fish filet, paid and tipped the waiter, and went back on his way to the station.
Just as he did, though, there were cops leaving.
"What's going on?"
"The Cat escaped from her jail cell again!" Chief explained in the rush of foot traffic.
"Oh woof! I'll help you guys!"
"Are you sure?"
"Of course! Didn't you see how I totally thwarted that guy earlier? I can do it. Promise."
Chief looked at Greg solemnly, placing one hand on his shoulder. "I believe in you, Greg."
"Let's go!"
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YOU ARE READING
The Incredible Dog-Man!
FanfictionGreg Knight is an average cop, working in the city of Collardale, Ohio, when one day, his life is changed forever.