The Incredible Dog-Man!

Chapter Three: The Birth Of Dog-Man!

[5/7/23]

"Stop right there, The Cat!"

They had burst through the door of The Cat's lab, where she always was whenever he escaped from his prison cell.

"No!" Was her only response as she swung on a rope from the ceiling, above the cops, onto a balcony which held the death laser she had been building. "One more move and I'll flip the switch and kill all of you!"

"That's not a good idea, Ms. The Cat," Greg suggested, to which The Cat started laughing hysterically.

It lasted just a bit longer than necessary as the cops shared glances and nervous chuckles at each other. It than lasted even more longer than necessary, which was starting to concern people as The Cat started gasping for air and fell onto the floor on her back.

Silence.

More silence.

This felt like an annoying, overly long and cheap gag made by an author who didn't know what else to write.

"Uh, The Cat?"

She bounded back up, now laying down on the handrail with one knee up. "Now, where was I?"

"You were at the part where you were threatening our lives?"

"Oh yeah! Now, scram!"

Silence.

"BOO!"

The cops all screamed and ran out of the lab.

"Idiots."

===

That night, Greg had a very odd dream. It was by most accounts a very normal dream, it was just him chasing squirrels, but considering everything that had happened recently it felt very odd to him. What else was very odd is that he had fallen asleep in a very peculiar position; curled up like a dog on a couch.

He woke up, yawned, felt normal. He walked over to the bathroom, shaved, felt normal. He looked in the mirror, placed one hand on the sink, pointed at himself, said you got this, and wagged his tail.

Wait.

Backtrack.

Woke up, yawned, walked, shaved, looked in mirror, pointed, said you've got this. Wagged his tail?

He strained himself to turn his head around and, well, he certainly did have a tail. He didn't have one before, he felt. He was pretty sure about that, actually. So why did he have one now?

Hmm. He thought about it for a bit. Oh. Right. He was bitten by one of The Cat's radioactive hounds.

"Well," he said to himself. "Why not become an awesome superhero?" He did some cool action poses, karate chops and roundhouse kicks before falling flat on his face.

Maybe he'd need a disguise, first.

"What to call myself, though?"

He pondered. He pondered some more. He looked at the ceiling. Still pondering. Floor. Pondering, still. He sat up from where he had fallen, not having yet pondered what to call himself yet.

"EUREKA!" He announced, jumping up. "I KNOW! I will be..."

He did another cool superhero pose.

"The Amazing, Rebarkable, Incredible and Otherwise Extraordinary DOG-MAN!"

Silence in his one person apartment.

"Maybe I should shorten that a bit," he laughed to himself, nervous but not really.

Bring, bring, bring. The phone! He practically flew over to the phone, picking it up off of its receiver.

"Greg! Where on Earth are you?" Milly.

"Oh, you know, busy."

"Busy with what?"

"Oh, you know. Stuff! I'll be there in a jiffy, ok?"

"Greg, you're late, but you're never this late. Are you ok? Is it your arm?"

"I... suppose it's related to that, yes."

"Greg! If you're this late because of your arm, don't show up today at all! I can just get Chief to mark you down as sick!"

"But—"

"No buts, Greg!" Milly sighed. "Just... stay safe, ok?"

Greg was silent for a moment, nodding before realizing he was on the phone.

"Alright. I will, Milly."

"Thanks."

He hung up, and threw himself backwards onto his bed.

"Aughghhhhhghgghghhgh!"

He rolled over. Maybe he should start work on his disguise.

About one montage later, he had a passable mecha suit for his new alterego.

"Well! Let's see any crime doers try and stop me in THIS, hmm?"

The suit had taken him quite a few weeks, and now he was ready to don it proudly. He put on the armor, tested out the jaw, and once he was happy with it he packed it up for use that night. 

"Alrighty! Can't wait to see it in action," he said to himself, actually slightly hoping he wouldn't have to use it so soon; an emergency for the Amazing Dog-Man was an absolutely dire emergency, after all.

But maybe...

No, he shouldn't use it to go after The Cat. Not yet. But, The Cat still hadn't been caught from when she had escaped a couple weeks ago.

Conflicting. Well, he probably should wait.

He looked at the clock. 5am. He should head to the station to let them know his arm was feeling better.

"Oh my god, Greg?"

Greg smiled at Chief, leaping at him to hug him.

"Um, Greg?"

Greg realized that he'd leaped over Chief's desk and knocked over a chair to hug him. He pulled away and cowered in embarrassment, his tail still.

"Sorry! I don't know what that was about either."

Chief stood up and dusted himself off. "Oh well, glad you're feeling better, if you were able to pull that stunt. That was like how a dog acts when it hadn't seen someone in a while, geez Greg."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Anyways, most of the force is gone off trying to catch The Cat, so feel free to just hang out in the breakroom until they get back."

"What're you doing here still then, Chief?"

"I have paperwork to do, Greg."

"Ah," Greg said as he slipped into the breakroom for a quick munch. The breakroom always had some donuts and coffee.

He went to take a bit of a lemon donut, his favorite, only to gag and spit it out. Ever since he'd gotten bit, he'd hated citrus tastes, but he didn't know why. He used to love citrus. He grabbed a plain glazed one. Much better.

He sighed, taking a seat at the table. He could have sworn this table used to be pinker, and that his mug used to be greener, but now they were browner. All colors were weirder now, really, but it was most noticeable here with the not-so-pink pink table and the not-so-green green mug. He took another bite of his donut.