UNGIFTED

CHAPTER 21

U nwaveringly determined, his feet dragged him across the halls, ushering him towards the one place he knew guarded every piece of knowledge in the building. A place that Ben was certain could give him an answer to at least some of the questions that plagued his mind.

With both hands pressed firmly against its wooden doors, he pushed them open. His force so strong and desperate that he almost fell inside. A couple prying eyes staring at him, annoyed by his disturbance.

“Ben?” Eroan asked from behind the front desk. Lifting his eyes from the journal he had been writing on, startled by the sudden thud coming from the doors. Surprised to find his friend holding onto them, panting like someone who had just crossed the finish line after running an endless marathon.

“Hey.” He breathed straightening his posture and stepping in.

“What are you doing here? Did something happen?” His friend asked taken aback by Ben’s presence at the library.

“No.” He replied. “I just- I need to… Uhm. Do you mind if I browse?” He asked pointing towards the shelves at his side.

“Not by any means.” His friend replied inviting him to wander the book-filled aisles.

His feet followed the direction the shelves led him to, but his eyes did not look. Overwhelmed by the overdose of information they received, the titles in front of them became a blur. Closing his eyes for a moment, Ben tried to get his brain to work again and focus his vision on the words that stood before him.

The codes imprinted on the book’s backs guided him into the selection of books that could help him. And his fingers dragged across the rims as his eyes browsed through the pages trying to find any keyword that could save him some time.

“Is there something in particular you’re looking for Ben?” Eroan said leaning against the shelf his friend’s eyes had been glued to for the past twenty minutes. Ben sighed helplessly.

“Rights, laws, rules, anything really.” He replied without spearing Eroan a glance, too busy reading through the titles. “There must be a loophole somewhere. Something we could use.”

“There’s no such thing.” Jamie said stepping into the aisle the pair of friends were standing at. His head already buried in a different book. Ben’s eyes instantly rolled back at his unrequested apparition.

“How could you know?” He questioned.

“Because we’ve already checked.” Jamie replied closing the book and locking eyes with Ben. “We checked each and every one of them. We have for the past five years.” He told him. “There’s not a single thing those books could say that would change the way things are.”

Ben looked at him for a moment with eyes full of annoyance. But, as much as he wanted Jamie to be wrong, he knew he was probably right.

“I’d like to check on that.” Ben mumbled, taking a number of random books off the shelf and marching towards the front desk.

“Be my guest Vaughn.” Jamie told him. “But remember this: you’re not only wasting your time. You’re wasting hers as well.” He said vanishing into the back of the library.

Ben placed the books on top of the desk with a loud thud. His mind clearly anywhere but there. Jamie’s words had catapulted him someplace else. If his mind had been thinking heavily earlier, it had now picked the speed of a bullet train. Thoughts too rushed and blurry to comprehend. Ideas torn into tiny pieces that floated inside disassociated bubbles he could not fathom into anything that made sense.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Eroan asked standing now behind the counter, sliding something all the way towards his friend whose eyes landed on the shiny object on top of the wooden desk.

“This is a paper clip.” He said, hand swiftly picking it up; fingers playing loosely with it.

“Paper clip for your thoughts then?” Eroan asked and heard his friend sigh with a certain heaviness.

“If only I could turn them into sentences.” He replied, too focused on the bended shiny wire between his fingers to pay any attention to his friend’s confusion.

“You can always try…” Eroan told him. “What’s on your mind Ben?” He asked.

And Ben paused for a moment. And tried to find an answer to that question but found it was far more difficult than any other question he had ever been asked before. Because whereas his mind was filled with worries and thoughts, each one of them laid on top of the other like a stamp furiously imprinted over and over again on the same surface becoming but one large ink stain. Impossible to read.

“I have to leave.” He responded like someone who had just had some sort of revelation.

“Leave?” He questioned taking the books Ben had just placed on the desk and checking them out. “Leave where?” He asked, but received no answer. “Ben?” He said softly.

“Yeah?” Ben said, finally turning his gaze towards his friend.

“Is it all… because of Ameria?” Eroan leaned over the desk to whisper. Ben looked at him for a moment, his mouth slightly agape but no words coming out of it. “But it doesn’t make any sense.”

“Why?”

"Because you're sworn enemies and hate each other's guts?"

"Oh, right, that. Forgot." He said sarcastically, and biting down on his lip.

“I don’t understand, weren’t you always bickering and arguing with her?” He questioned. Confusion written all over his face.

“Yes,” Ben admitted. “but I would also die for her so... Try to keep up.” He added, carefully banging the books against the desk before turning around and heading towards the door.

“Ben!” He heard a female voice call out to him. And turning back around he found its owner. Octavia, who had just been eavesdropping their conversation, stood there behind the desk and beside Eroan.