friend-
a person with whom one has a bond of mutual, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.
acquaintance-a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend.
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The majority of the time, I ask myself, "Do I actually have any friends?" and that's not even it, more than that I find myself questioning whether I am a good friend.
I've seen people posting about their friends, and saying how it's crazy how no matter what, your friends are always there for you.
The thing is, they are there, or I assume they are. Because I know that there are some people who I want to talk to. Who I'll be there for.
Even if they call me at 4:00 in the morning, I'll not be mad, I mean I'll be grumpy, but I'll talk.
But I do not know if they are my "Friends"
Because when we were under the age of 13, a "Friend" was someone you played with, someone you met every day at a particular time because you went down in your society to play (at least in India)
And it's even more complicated because now you just don't go up to someone and be all "friends?" and then wrap your pinkie around the other person.
And when we were younger, we could fight all we want, and then the next day we'd see the person again, and just be "friends" again.
I could just be me, right? It's possible that it's me who repels people.
It's possible that it's my fault that I don't let people stay close.
Cause people do that, they let you get close to them, and then don't let you stay close.
Do you do that?
Cause I think I do.
But it's just that.
People do that, don't hate them for that.
Because deep within ourselves, we all just want to be found, but we think that we aren't ready to be found, and we go ahead and make sure that no one finds us.
So please, if you do that, Stop.
Go and be someone's "friend". Because if you know what that word means, then you come under the title of lucky. Not everyone has some they can go to.
Just bear with me, okay?
If you have a friend, and if they are someone you'd go to if you were sad, or you'd call him up just because you wanted to, if you have this person, say a prayer right now. Right now.
got to a window or just anywhere. and say
"Thank you. Thank you for meeting me. Thank you for being comfortable with me. Thank you for being there with me and thank you for letting me know that I'm important to you (person's name)"
I know, it's not exactly a prayer, but do it.
and If you don't have someone like that, try to be that to someone.
Cause everyone needs someone, some are just good at pretending that they have someone, even when they don't believe they do, be that someone for them. Be someone's friend. Just help.
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Okay, I honestly don't know what I wrote, It's kinda confusing, but if anyone, anyone else was able to make sense of it. I hope you know you aren't alone.
Love,
Author
