I want || ziam au

neuf

Dedication to: justpretendingimcool
listen to (optional):
Drake - Marvins Room

I stayed in my tiny little twin sized bed staring at the fragile aging walls thinking.

I didn't really understand why liam and I couldn't be together, it just was an unsaid thing that we both mutually understood.

Yet I was utterly clueless as to how this could be, I mean he's my nurse and he's supposed to trying to help me get better, not fuck me better, and all of this came out of nowhere and as soon as I met him it was sexual attraction, and for fuck sakes I could not help my self.

Wanting more is difficult for me because I can't want much in this place, zaynandliam only go beyond the dry walls.

I am a patient, thats all I'll ever be until I handle my problem.

Staying away from him is getting more difficult and I never meant for this to happen.

okay. maybe I did. But that still doesn't take away from the fact that this is wrong.

❝Lunch.❞ A knock was heard at my door before entering.

I lightly smiled.

❝Bub how you feeling? You didn't leave your bed once today.❞

❝Eeh not too good I think I
might be coming down with something.❞

Liam frowned sitting on my bed.

❝Emotionally, you alright?❞

I nervously laugh avoiding his gaze.

❝Yeah - wait no actually no. ❞ I sniffle.

Liam walks to my door closing it and locking it once sealed, he makes his way back to the bed lightly picking me up and scooting me over.

He cuddles me closer lighly pecking the crease of my neck.

❝Talk to me.❞ he whispers.

I huff, ❝Just Liam, I'm stuck here, I'm stuck here with my diçk problem and you, you can leave you do leave and I'm fuçking stuck.❞

❝You can have a life beyond this suffocating building I, I AM STUCK IN THIS FÜCKING BUILDING. ❞ I whisper yell.

❝And liam - fück I hate to say this but you are keeping me here.❞ I say as a single tear slides down my face.

He just layed there frozen.

I continued, ❝We can't- we can't do this to each other anymore, before it gets too late. You can't take me home like normal people do, and I am clinically damaged, who wants fucking damaged goods.❞

❝I do.❞ he whispers. Stroking my cheek.

❝I don't want to resent you, and if you keep making me feel things and do things with me, I will.❞

He sighed. Getting up slowly and I felt my heart clench at this action because I was already missing his arms around me.

He rubbed my arm before he drifted off.

❝I left your lunch on your night stand. I'll ask Dr. W to get you a new nurse I heard a new one was in Smith? I think?-❞ he scratches the back of his head.

❝Wait-No-Liam what?❞ I ask panicky.

❝I agree. I'm holding you back. Maybe sometime in the future we could give this an actual go, but right now you're here for a reason and I can't see you everyday and know I can't have you the way I want so I'm removing myself from the situation.❞

❝But Liam- ❞

❝Bye Zayn.❞