Ash Tray-2doc College AU

diary entry 6: seven eleven

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April 15, 2001

Dear diary, it's been real fun these past days, me and Murdoc have been going out at night together over to that willow tree. He told me that he used to come there when he was younger and then started crying (or well he said his eyeballs were sweating but I know that's not true). I don't know if it's very normal that I get so nervous around him though. Not in a bad way, but in a good way (?) I like it when he drags me around by the hand, or simply grabs my hand when we sit beside each other on the willow tree. NOT ON A WEIRD WAY THOUGH OR IN A ROMANTIC WAY. Or- maybe yes???

I don't know... I mean I've only known the guy for almost a month and I'm already getting feelings??? No, no, it probably can't be. Maybe it's just that he's a bit attractive. And maybe has a seductive deep voice. And maybe has nice hair. Ok, maybe I do have a small crush on him. But so what? It'll probably pass on by like it always has with everyone. I never get that infatuated with men or women or anyone in particular... I don't even know who or what I like so how can I be sure I like him? Like, yes, he's nice, has a good sense of humor, helps me out, hell, he's even tied my shoelaces for me the other day. But he's also very temperamental, has some issues and smokes. Although I gotta say... smoking makes him look a bit hot...

AAAA STOP IT STUART STOP IT! It'll just pass by in a week or so and then we'll go back to being just friends. Or at least his definition of friends??? I don't know if he sends me mixed signals too- like- he grabs my hand, takes me to a very important place for him, flirts with me and listens to me rant on about my bands. Ugh- maybe I'm reading too much into this??? I have no idea! I really wish you could talk to me and tell me what to do or think of all of this diary... like- maybe I could let myself develop some kind of emotion for him? But I don't know if I should- it seems sometimes like he's just doing this to lead me on or to get laid by me or something of that style- I really have no idea.

Maybe I can think about this later? Well see you diary, I'll go over to Mudz's room for my melodica, I think I might've left it there.
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2d sighted, leaving his diary in the drawer like always. He looked at his bedside table clock and noticed it was 5pm, 'Murdoc would surely start smoking around this hour' he thought and just on que, the smell of tobacco infiltrated his nostrils making him cringe slightly since the smell was still slightly repulsive for him, although after living with it for almost half a month made it more tolerable. He got up and went out of his room, over to the kitchen, seeing his roommate in the corner of his eye, with a slightly bruised cheek.

His eyes widened in shock and went over running to Murdoc, slightly panicking. "What happened to your cheek?!" He asked, with his off tune voice sounding a bit more high pitched than what he would've liked. "Nothing just-" Murdoc paused and sighed before taking a slight drag from the cancer stick. "Just got in some trouble with some dumbasses on the streets who started going on about being against gay people or whatever." Murdoc said looking off to the side "just go get me some ice for this or whatever", the blue haired man went over to the freezer to look for ice and saw there was none. He sighed and looked back at Murdoc who was still with his cigar in his mouth, exhaling the cancerogenous gas through his nose.

2d went and stood beside him fiddling a bit with his fingers, "there's- no ice..." he said with his voice wavering like always, slightly afraid of what his unpredictable friend would respond with. The olive skinned man just huffed in anger, and turned his head more, letting out a big puff of smoke and noticed that his nicotine filled addiction had run out, so he burnt the cigar out on the ashtray. "You want to go out for some ice and maybe pick up some bear?" 2d asked, Murdoc turned over to see him, his slightly annoyed and cold stare softened a bit at the other's suggestion, even making him smile slightly.