straykids x reader

why me

warnings-fluff?angst ?

hyunjin whom you've known since you were babies, with whom you have grown up, and who tells you everything going on in his life. Whether it be his family problems or girl troubles you're the one and first to learn about it all. So better than anyone you're aware of just how inconsolable he is under the bubbly façade. You've experienced it firsthand—how hard, energy and time consuming it is to love him, even as a friend, let alone as more than that. You know what consumes his body and soul; you know he is incapable of devoting himself to anything other than his obsession, or even compromising between the two.

Repressing your feelings back when you'd first realized you were harboring more than you should was necessary, but it hadn't been easy. Not when, despite all of his flaws, he is still the most charming man you've ever met. Not when he knows you like the back of his hand, reads you like an open book without you having to utter a word, and is the only one who could lift your spirits and make your stomach hurt with laughter. It hadn't been that easy to stop yourself from falling hopelessly in love with him when so much of him is everything you could ever wish for in a significant other. But then there's the rest. And though that hadn't been enough to repress your feelings

He would be lying if he said out loud that it didn't hurt the moment you parted ways in high school, after graduation he decided to follow his dreams, even if it meant leaving you behind.

Now he wished he had asked you for your number before graduation, maybe then the lonely nights wouldn't feel so lonely if he heard your voice even though you were miles away from each other, but he knew it would be selfish, asking you to wait for him even though he wasn't even sure if he would be back soon or if he would ever keep his promise, so he didn't. He didn't ask you on a date just the day before his flight when you met, he didn't accept your confession that rainy day because he didn't want to give you false hope that he wouldn't leave or that you would find a way to make it work even with the distance between you. So he left with a million regrets in his heart.

But now back to the place he left years ago, he wished he had stayed, did you always look so lovely?, he really didn't expect to see you, it's not like he had never heard of you after he was gone, you were friends with Felix too, so he knew a little about how you had been, but you still weren't fully on speaking terms, he wondered if you would have thought about him all this time, did you miss him? He expected the answer to be no, after all you hadn't approached him either, maybe he just hadn't given you the opportunity to do so.

Would you pretend you didn't know him at all if you happened to see him too? No, you were not like that or at least he hoped, because without realizing it his feet started to move until he was almost in front of you, he was really a coward, where did his sudden confidence go? Why couldn't he reach you? He was almost sure he couldn't talk anymore, oh what a bad idea this was, what would he even say?, well you two were friends at some point in your lives, perhaps he could buy you a coffee and catch up, but what if you said no? Definitely a bad idea.

So horrible that when you finally became aware of his presence, he couldn't even understand what you were talking about! Embarrassed as ever, when he finally caught on that your voice was expecting a response from him, he couldn't help but blush a little, god he wasn't like that in the least, that made it even more embarrassing, and now you were laughing at the look on his face, truly a horrible plan.

He decided to smile awkwardly at you until he knew how to speak again and thanks to looking at his phone to try to give you his new number (which by now he should have learned) he didn't notice the soft look you were giving him, and when he looked up again it was gone. Finally, when you parted ways with a promise to write to each other and meet up sometime, he thought it may not have been such a horrible plan, just, maybe.